"Tina Cohen-Loser"

Ok. Glee and me. We're making it work.

Obviously I wasn't going to stop watching, even if last week was the worst episode ever. A girl's gotta have an informed opinion. And I'm glad I didn't, because this week gave us, if not a great episode, certainly the best in a long time.

First, let's get the songs out of the way. The opening number was, properly, something we've heard a thousand times before from Blaine & The Pips. I thought Kurt's "Blackbird" was beautiful, and I totally understand it triggering Blaine's lightbulb moment. One of the best things about a lot of this episode was they not only played to certain cast members' vocal strengths, but the autotuning for the most part took a back seat. Santana's "Trouty Mouth" and Puck's "Big-Ass Heart" brought some nice comedy (Mercedes' "Hell No" had an obnoxious, oft-repeating catch phrase and too clearly showcased that the ONLY storyline she has had this season revolved around tater tots. So. No.), but like, FOR REALSIES, none of these kids could have written (AND ARRANGED, is that jazz band made up of musical leprechauns or some shit that are always available and know every song ever, even ones just written by a dumb-ass high school student? Way to be way serious on "Trouty Mouth". I'm looking at you, drums.) any of these songs in the time allotted, except for the two sung at regionals. We'll get to that.

I want to say that this episode really delivered on something it's been missing for a while: the heartfelt emotions and moments of pure, helplessly un-hip joy. That being said, the really awful shit that the past few episodes hath wrought (a no-fun, psychopathic Sue; a no-fun, man-hating Santana; too much Blaine) was still there in full force. Sue punched a woman for no discernible reason. In the face. To the ground. Like, what? Moving on, there was thank you oh my dear unbelievable lord in the sky only the tiniest amount of Schue this week. The best was Santana telling him to stop touching her. We really all want you to stop touching anybody at all, Mr. Schue. Oh, that reminds me, the worst was Holly Holliday calling him in the middle of effing class to talk about her yoga retreat. Barf. Wait, sorry, the WORST was him then telling his students that the person he was just being gross with on the phone is another teacher. No.

But I was getting to the regionals songs. I pretty much dug "Candles", which took me by surprise because I audibly groaned when Blaine suggested it. We're gonna pause here and talk about that kiss because GIRL, that was a hot-ass kiss. That was better than most kisses you see on network TV, gay or straight. They both totally went for it and it worked really well, especially on a gay=sexy level. Because damn. Mmm. Almost (not quite!) as good as Jason Segal and NPH macking on the HIMYM season 3 deleted scenes blooper reel. Anyway, the entire Kurt storyline was incredibly well-written and performed. Chris Colfer has earned that Golden Globe and then some. I'm glad they've finally gone for it with Kurt and Blaine, but I still can't really stand Blaine and I still have so little faith in the writers that we'll just have to see.

Songs! I promise, we're getting there. One of the crazy things about Glee is that they pack SO MUCH into 40 scant minutes and when it's halfway done and they're like, regionals! And I'm like, cartoon triple take? That's happening THIS episode? So...Mr. Schue never bothers to look into anything Sue does, so suddenly he leads New Directions to believe that they won't be able to perform any songs ever written, because Sue will have slept with the drummer? Or something. And Quin has decided that living her life as a cliche has worked out so well in the past that she's got to become BFFs with Rachel in order to keep her enemy closer or something. So she supports Rachel's idea for them ALL (because obviously anyone who can sing can write five-part harmonies) to write original songs and Rachel is all OMG you're being nice to me we are now besties! And thus both plotlines get rolling. The aforementioned numbers were dismissed as "not the right fit for regionals". Correct, sir. However, apparently the "right fit" for regionals are two songs so blandly generic they could have been written by Miley Cyrus and/or Smash Mouth. Quin is a raging bitch to Rachel and Rachel writes a totally standard ballad about, you know, never being able to do the right thing or prove herself or whatever; New Directions talks about the ways that Sue tortures them with dirt and forging legal documents and writes a totally standard pop-rock number about being ok with being a loser and whatever to dirt, etc. I didn't really hate either of them, but that's because there's nothing really offensive about such overproduced vanilla pop, unless you are offended by the mere existence and/or popularity of that kind of music. I can be, but I did like the glitter slushies.

Ignoring the quality of the songs (which were never going to be great, and, let's be honest, my low expectations going into "Original Songs" did Glee a favor), I really like where the Quin/Finn/Rachel triangle is being taken. The truth is that Quin should worry about Finn's ability to love Rachel - it shows that he has way more empathy and ultimately different priorities than her. I'm pretty sure the future that Quin outlined to Rachel is Finn's idea of hell. He's a dreamer, and I know that ultimately he'll be happier with someone who's going to push him to be great than with someone who's just going to push him around. Team Finchel FTW!

And so just when I was feeling great about that, they had to end it like THAT. Group hug! Everybody is unanimous about loving Rachel because she wrote that song with all the meaning and she sung it with that voice like she always does and nobody could ever win anything without her again. And all she has ever wanted is to feel special and loved and all those other trophies that she cared so much about before aren't important just this one and this moment that is all about me and me and I'M SPECIAL! The end. So. No.

A few great ups and a whole buttload of downs still makes one of the best episodes of the season. Sorry, Glee, but that's not really a compliment. Make more gay kissing, plz!

Images via GleeBrasil.Tumblr, CulturePop, Entertainista