Because You Asked What I Think About...The Office Series Finale

It wasn't perfect, you know.  But it was pretty damn close.  I really think the last three episodes should be considered the finale, because they did such a wonderful job of closing the characters' stories in appropriate and satisfying ways.  Was there a bit of wish fulfillment going on?  Obviously.  But I think it was earned.

The character of Andy has been so fucked with that any real redemption for him was impossible, but at least the Baby Wawa thing was hilarious.  I really, really love how Dwight matured in a perfectly Dwight way so that he finally was the right man for the job.  I thought all of the work done with Jim and Pam was pretty beautiful.  It was awesome how Angela basically became Meredith for a couple episodes there.  I liked all of it, really.  And there was definitely some commentary on television and on The Office as a show going on in the writing of the finale, but I mostly didn't mind it.  At its best, The Office was hilarious and smart and heartfelt and a little uncomfortable, and all of that came through in these final episodes.  Do I wish Season 8 didn't exist?  Yes.  But Season 9 did an excellent job of closing out the story arcs for these characters that we've come to care so much about in one way or another, from Darrell to Kelly to Creed.  And the finale left me satisfied and smiling.

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs.  It's all I've ever wanted."
- Kevin Mallone

"The Perfect Last Christmas Party"

I realized a few days ago that I haven't really been talking about my shows much this fall - by that I mean the shows that are my real favorites, like Parks & Recreation.  Partly it's because I've been so busy, and partly it's because Community's not on the air, but it's also partly due to the fact that I've been watching with a more over-arching point of view, instead of simply evaluating shows on an episode by episode basis.  And with that in mind, it is time to talk about The Office.

Now, I have loved The Office for a very long time, and I was never the hugest Michael Scott fan.  I even thought the show had the potential to improve in his absence.  But they made some bad decisions along the way and cast the wrong people and went way too far down the Robert California rabbit hole and last season the show was, let's face it, bad.  Very bad.

But then this season came around.  And since we all know this is the final year, the show has been given a chance to get back to where it started as well and demonstrate how far it's come.  At the center of all that is the combination of relationships between Dwight, Jim, and Pam.  Oh, sure, there's Erin and New Jim, and Angela and Oscar, and all the rest in between and they're great, but resolving the Dwight/Jim/Pam relationships is clearly the documentarian's goal.  As someone who knows the early seasons to an obsessive point it is absolutely captivating and joyful to watch the pleasantly gradual denouement of these characters.

The Office's first Christmas episode was a classic in both the Michael-is-a-clueless-jerk and the Jim-and-Pam-are-tragically-in-love veins, with the Yankee Swap and the teapot and the shameless-but-apt iPod promotion and the Meredith's boobs.  It set the stage for many, many more great Christmas episodes - the dueling margarita/nutcracker parties (which includes my favorite Creed line: "I don't care which party I go to. Once you've danced naked at a hash bonfire with the spirits of the dead, all parties seem pretty much the same"); the Morrocan Meredith Intervention Christmas (which I believe was also the Princess Unicorn episode - "My horn can pierce the sky!"); the one where Phyllis is Santa.  The Christmas party is a time where the employees of Dunder Mifflin open up and get drunk and embrace the holiday spirit, and it's always a highlight of the season.  Last year's Christmas episode was a bright spot in a dark, glum year.

Wherein I Cry Actual Tears At The Parks & Rec Finale

Season finales abounded last night!  But we're only gonna talk about two of them.

Well, actually, three, because I've been meaning to say something about the Castle finale all week, so we'll start there.  Castle!  Ba-bam!  Finally!  Ok, the episode itself was pretty terrible because for some reason the showrunners use the season finales/premieres to abandon all the witty and glib humor that makes the show worth watching for heavy-handed, depressingly dramatic bullshit...but that doesn't mean that Nathan Fillion isn't AMAZING and TOTALLY THE BEST.  He delivers this speech that is pained and honest and beautiful and gratifying and Beckett, because she is an atrocious, selfish person, responds in an atrocious, selfish way.  Just watch:



But I never watched this show for her.  I've always known she's The Worst.  Like I said about last year's season finale, "We just want Castle and Beckett to make out.  It's all we've ever wanted."  And that's the truth. So I could care less about the crazy conspiracy and about Tahmoh Whatshisface from Dollhouse being a super-good murderer and about Esposito and Ryan's terminal cases of Serious Face and all of it, because at the end, not only did they make out hard-core, but they also definitely HAD THE SEX.  Which gives me great hopes for next season being less about Beckett's boring and illogical mental and emotional hangups and more about Castle and Beckett having all the sex.  I just can't believe it took FOUR SEASONS to get there.

Moving on.

Stuff We've Got To Talk About

Ok, I've got 45 minutes before I have to get in the shower and head off to meet a friend, so let's get to it!  So much going on...so here it is, in absolutely no particular order.

Oh, the Chevy Chase/Dan Harmon thing makes me SO SAD.  Without knowing any more than what anybody else on the internet knows, my take on it is that these dudes are both just too cranky and too narcissistic to ever get along.  However, in the over-all scheme of things I've got to side with Harmon.  Chevy has been vocal about his disdain for sitcoms since the beginning, and doesn't seem to be able to understand how transcendent Community really is.  Here is a guy who has been, since the real beginnings of his career on SNL, a superstar, and has the ego to match.  I'm betting his agent or manager or someone convinced him to do Community in order to get his face out there to a younger audience and that Chevy didn't bet on the show becoming the phenomenon it has.  Additionally, I think the Pierce character hits a little too close to home for him sometimes.  I don't mean the daddy issue stuff (although, who really knows), but the old man/out of touch/hopelessly un-hip stuff ("Encarta it" ahahahahaha).  I bet before this show Chevy still thought of himself as being a classic bad-ass, but the writing has forced him to look his own old-man-ness in the face.  Anyway, that's just my take on it, who effing knows.  I think it was bad form for Chevy to walk off the set, and it was bad form for Harmon to chant, "Fuck you, Chevy" at the wrap party (although I do think that's pretty funny), but it was really bad form for Chevy to leave such a horrible message for the guy that is his BOSS.  And sorry, but calling D. Harms a bad writer doesn't hold water because everyone in the world knows that the opposite is true and that he's actually The Best writer (and I'm sure that Dan could care less about Chevy telling him to suck his cock).  Threatening to leave the show over this is a selfish, petty, childish, TOTAL DICK MOVE.  Honestly, I wouldn't care THAT much if he left - the incredible cast could pick up his slack - but the threat to do so just pisses me off.  Chevy needs to get over himself, stop thinking he's above doing television, and maybe if he were a little more respectful than stuff like this wouldn't happen.  Hmph.

"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!"

In case you couldn't tell, these premiere posts are coming in no particular order whatsoever - just the order that I get around to watching them twice to take notes.

So The Office wasn't bad, was it? I mean, it wasn't the best, but it was pretty consistently The Office-like and that is never a terrible move. But I'm unsure how it bodes for this coming season, particularly the moment where Pam breaks down about how she's become older and, let's face it, a little boring. Either she's stick stolidly to this new role she's been growing into, or she will take on Robert California (great name)'s challenge to prove him wrong. I'm hoping real hard for the latter.

In terms of everything else, I'll just break it down. I think they made the right call with Andy as boss, as he is the natural successor to Michael Scott and kind of the anti-Ryan (an untalented salesman with potential as a manager but for good, not for evil). There was not enough Dwight in this episode, but the perfect amount of Kevin. I'm not a fan of Stanley's catchphrase. Jim is always great, ditto for Oscar and Phyllis and Toby. But oh man, no more weepy Pam, ok? Now, James Spader I have yet to make a firm decision on. He is just SO CREEPY, you know? And only sort of funny sometimes and so I'm waiting to rule as to his capabilities as a dramatic foil to the employees. We'll see - and in the meantime, I have a feeling that I won't mind the wait.

Notes & Quotes

"Don't know, super care."

"Apt. Apt analysis, Robert."

The look on everyone's face as Pam haz a sad.

"Okay, not to point out the glaringly obvious, but does the fact that I'm in this group make everyone feel just a little bit better? ..........Ow, that crust is sharp!"

"But now it is my job, and my prob!"

"I did not know about the sales figures."

"And just to show you that I'm being fair, you had Gabe in the "loser" column...I think that is...astute. Good call."

Image via Daemon'sTV

"You weren't even in Time Bandits!"

I've been hearing some rumblings lately about how Ricky Gervais has lost his game. Now, Gervais has always walked a somewhat tenuous line with me - it took a few years' time and a second viewing of The Office for me to really come around - but I don't think you can deny that the man can be hilarious, even if his Simon Cowell uniform is quite laughable in a different way. Additionally, I think he's been really smart about the way he's handled things since Extras ended - after making smart choices like casting Louis C.K. in The Invention Of Lying, Gervais has let the spotlight shine on smaller characters, and used his forceful personality to drive the comedy from these supporting roles.

Let's Hear It For The Gays!

Happy Pride, everyone! And happy gay-marriage-is-legal-in-NY! I'm so gonna be dancing my face off tonight. To celebrate, I thought I'd talk about some of my favorite gay television characters. We've still got a long fucking way to go in terms of media portrayal, and I am purposefully ignoring Glee completely on this list - you can go back and read some of my Glee posts if that's what you're interested in, but their characters are so poorly maintained that while I love first season Kurt I kind of hate a lot of second season Kurt and we won't even get into their TERRIBLE track record of biphobia. So. Let's start with a good one.

Alastair/Athena, "Huge"

I have been trying to get everyone I know to watch Huge with me and everyone says, "Yeah, that sounds great," and then we never do. But it is THE BEST, you've just got to start watching and you'll be hooked. Now, not to give too much away, but Alastair is an incredible character. He's super awkward and weird and no one really gets him and he's totally open about finding power in the name Athena and wanting that to be his nickname or whatever and when the jock kid calls him that out of kindness and acceptance you will CRY and if you don't you are made of permafrost. Anyway, what's great about Alastair is that he is pretty much the embodiment of "Questioning". He's totally queer but is still figuring out what that means and even though he may have curiosity about guys he's got it about girls, too and is really just trying to be himself and find the best way to do that. He's not afraid to be genderqueer and embody the feminine along with the masculine and most of all he doesn't want people making assumptions about him based on what they see or hear. Alastair is one of the main reasons why Huge is so great, and probably one of the main reasons it was cancelled, lest teenagers realize it's ok to be whoever they want to be or some other TERRIBLE lesson like that.

I should just end this list now, because it just can't get any better than that.

The Cast Of Will & Grace (minus Grace)

Will & Grace is one of those shows that doesn't really get talked about anymore. I don't think I've mentioned it once in almost a year of this blog. But it really was, for at least the first few seasons, revolutionary, brilliant, and hilarious queer comedy. Sure, there were some issues with stereotypes, but Eric McCormack and Sean Hayes are such great actors that they dealt with those unavoidable roadblocks with grace and dignity. Megan Mullally's pansexual Karen is one of the greatest television characters of all time; they should have ended the show before Harry Connick, Jr came on to ruin everything and created a spin-off called Jack & Karen, because who wouldn't watch that? I remember seeing two men kiss on primetime TV, and how powerful that was for me as a little baby queer with an uncle about to get gay married. I love, love, love Sean Hayes (if you haven't seen Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, do it NOW) and think he deserves tons of credit for making flamboyance into something more than a limp-wristed caricature and for showing the world that it's ok to be stereotypically & effeminately gay, but that that doesn't mean that's ALL you are. I think it's safe to say that the television world would not be what it is today without Will & Grace.

Chandler & Phoebe, "Friends"

Both totally bi. Like, so bi I've considered writing a dissertation about how bi they are. Really the argument could be made for all of the so-called heteros on Friends, but Chandler and Phoebe are the most obvious about it. I love when Phoebe slips in a sly reference for her love for the ladies and it is totally NBD and that Chandler's queerness just subtly becomes part of who he is.

Anything But Li'l

I know it's a little ridiculous in the fast-paced internet world we live in to post recaps five days after the episode airs, but (A) I sadly do not work for the A.V. Club or anywhere else whose writers get screeners so they can post their recaps as soon as it airs and (B) these last episodes of The Office and Parks & Recreation were so good that I wanted to draw out our goodbyes for as long as possible. And now, the time has come.

The Office

Firstly, how awesome is that picture? Hooray for ensemble casts! After the abhorrent mistake that was Deangelo Vickers, it was nice to see that The Office can handle itself without Michael Scott or any other misguided celebrity vanity projects (seriously, there was an NPR piece and Will Ferrell was all, yeah, I called them up to see if I could be on the show! And so they wrote this whole character for me! NOBODY CARES, Farrell. Stick with movies, please.). I mean, there are so many amazing characters, I don't think it should be that hard to manage. The first (and best) answer? Creed.

Now, Creed has been my favorite Office character for awhile (from the season 3 Christmas episode deleted scenes: "I don't care which party I go to. Once you've danced naked at a hash bonfire with the spirits of the dead, all parties seem pretty much the same."), and I thought giving him a leading role was a brilliant move. The scenes between him and Pam were some of the most fun I've had all season. Creed is great because he's a loose cannon; he can say or do anything and maintain character plausibility because his character is NUTS. So right off the bat we were off to a good start.

"Rocky Mountain Oysters"

And thus Michael Scott departed from The Office.

It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't The Worst, either. There were a few moments that I genuinely loved, and then there were some that I hated, or didn't understand, or that felt disappointing. Let's start with what was great:

- The cold open. A fun scene that maintained character continuity while hearkening back to some of the best cold opens with Michael and Dwight (mmm, peanut butter head).

- The look Michael had on his face as Deangelo was explaining how he was gonna drill holes in his favorite truck. 

"And THAT is Dallas."

Oh man. One after the other, and I haven't even watched the Pulp Fiction episode of Community yet. But I've got to post while it's fresh in my mind, and tomorrow morning I won't have time.

One of the hallmarks of the best episodes of The Office are two or three storylines that all carry through and bring something great to the table in order to create the perfect blend of drawn-out-joke funny, quippy, and emotional. "Garage Sale" handles all three of these elements with the wit and visual dexterity we all know and love, and turns out yet another great segment in The Final Chapter Of Michael Scott. I want to break down all three of the storylines and then we'll deal with the fun squee! stuff at the end.

"More fish for Kunta!"

Oh my gosh there is just so much to talk about! WARNING: if you haven't watched last night's comedies, be aware that there are spoilers ahead. Now, onwards!

Community

Can I start by saying LEVAR MOTHERFUCKING BURTON was in the Community house last night?! What up! It was awesome. And I loved Troy's reaction ("You can't disappoint a picture!") because I often feel the same way about my cinematic idols. I would much rather simply believe that they would think I'm awesome and we would get along fabulously and become best friends than be faced with the reality of having to tell, say, Donald Glover just how amazing and hilarious (not to mention sexy) I think he is. But I would definitely sing the Reading Rainbow song with Levar if faced with the opportunity.

Even the parts without Levar were super-great. I loved the Abed take on the documentary/sitcom format, an especially ballsy move seeing that there are two other mockumentary shows that come on right after Community. But they're totally right that it is really easy to advance plot when you can just explain what's going on, and Community should get props for turning out a hilarious, inventive, often plot-driven episode each week without the crutch of talking-heads. Not that I mind talking-head sitcoms...

But what they also did well is one of the hallmarks of a great Community episode: laugh-out-loud comedy combined with real-life, often heartbreaking/warming/wrenching moments. Pierce is in the hospital because he overdosed on pills, after all. Jeff absolutely has daddy-issues, that's for sure. It showed how well Pierce knows all of them while at the same time addressing everybody's insecurities. Annie finds something to learn even when there's no lesson. I thought it was great to have Abed behind the camera for this one because that's where his character belongs - Abed knows himself well enough that Pierce wouldn't be able to manipulate him the way he did the others. And I loved that they followed through with the beating that was neither mad-cap nor wacky - it was real. For all of the crazy, imaginative stuff Community does, their characters are ultimately grounded in reality, and that's what makes them so lovable, relatable, and hilarious. It's funny 'cause it's true, after all.

Notes & Quotes

"My third wish would be a million wishes...but I would just use them all on a million signed photos of actor Levar Burton."

What The World Needs Now Is Parks And Recreation

Parks And Recreation is not The Office.

I'm not sure how many times I've had to repeat that to people whom I'm trying to convince to watch the show. Even fans of The Office often balk when faced with the similarly-formatted comedy, citing rip-offs or it simply being too similar. But really, the format is the only real similarity. Oh sure, it takes place in a workspace and has a cast of quirky characters, but P&R deals with small-town government, which is a completely different world than private sector business, and you can find quirky characters in any ensemble comedy ever. SO - quit your griping and join me in celebrating just what makes Parks And Recreation unique.

"I have goosebumps - feel!"

Hooray for Thursday night comedy!

I grew up in a time when NBC's Must-See TV Thursday night line-up was booming; Friends and Will & Grace were hugely popular in addition to being at the top of their game, and the block of comedy was followed by a not-yet-irrelevant ER. This was the time that NBC would like to see return ("Make it 1997 again by magic or science"). As a result, Thursday nights just feel like comedy night to me. So, while I am saddened and angered by the NBC/Comcast merger that will most likely guarantee that episodes like last night's 30 Rock will never make it to the air, I am so, so happy to see the shuffling off of the blight that was Outsourced to a timeslot no one will watch and the return of Parks & Recreation to its rightful Thursday night spot. I'll be writing another post about Parks & Rec as a whole, but for now I want to focus on last night's funny in particular.

Community

"I agree with brown Jamie Lee Curtis"

"Music and cookies and liquor and trees, that's what Christmas is for"

I know that three days is SO LATE in the internet game, but sorry internet, I have a life and right now it is CRAZY and it's been all I can do to maintain my sanity, much less write blog posts. But I took notes so that I could write something once things died down a little. SO.........

Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas review starts now! Well, a few paragraphs from now.

Let me begin by explaining a little about my family and our Christmas celebrations and my relationship to Christmas pop culture. My dad does not like Christmas, a fact that made known to me once he deemed me old enough, which was around my 10th birthday. My sister and mom were a little indifferent to the whole thing, and then there was me. I LOVE Christmas - well, I love MY version of Christmas. I love picking out the perfect gifts and hanging stockings and cooking with my family and singing carols and unwrapping presents and the rainy weather and lights and the smell of the tree and pretty much anything Christmas that doesn't have to do with Jesus. My sister celebrates Chanukah and my grandfather celebrates the solstice; this year, due to a fortuitous typo, we've decided to refer to our December 25th holiday celebration as Xams, so as to remove it as far from Christ as possible. Because my family are atheists and agnostics and one converted Jew, we tend to avoid stuff about angels and pageants and miracles and the weirdness of worshiping a baby, and focus on the good stuff: eating and giving. Carols were always one of my favorites because I love to sing, but they drove my dad crazy and I've had to find good, non-annoying versions of my favorite Christmas songs to fill up my awesome winter playlist.

But this meant that I didn't watch a lot of Christmas movies/specials when I was a kid, partly by choice and partly because my dad would not give the TV up for that stuff. Rudolph and The Nightmare Before Christmas creeped me out, Charlie Brown didn't really captivate me, Miracle On 34th St. was boring, and I still, to this day, have never seen It's A Wonderful Life. Oh, sure, I watched The Grinch and Home Alone, but the holiday movie I probably saw the most was the animated version of The Snowman (quiet and nondenominational and thus inoffensive to my dad). As I got a little older, I started watching Friends and their holiday episodes became some of my favorites - and some of the best, with moments I can still instantly recall. Friends handled the holidays awesomely by either making a classic bottle episode, or by putting the Friends into stressful, emotional, and/or drunk situations. Always pitch-perfect. As I got even older, I started making my own traditions and found my trio of current all-time favorite holiday movies: Die Hard. Lord Of The Rings. Elf.

Annie's Boobs Did It!

Let's check in on the week, shall we?

- The opening of this week's How I Met Your Mother made me groan out loud and actually mutter the words, "Oh, brother." I cannot fully express how much I abhor the casting of Jennifer Morrison (although Kyle McLaughlan was great in his guest spot) and the direction that Ted's storyline is heading. Even Marshall and Lily lost me this week. A shame that the rest of the cast are veering off in one direction as Barney and Robin head in an entirely different, hilarious, and captivating one. Barney knows who his dad is!!! And Robin is the only one who knows! They are SO getting married. But even that awesomeness or all the touching can't distract me from the lump of un-funny terribleness that is Jennifer Morrison.

- I just heard that Running Wilde is being taken off the air for the rest of November, which means it's almost certainly headed for cancellation. I can't say I'm surprised (It's gotten a kind of weak (Fa'ad is my favorite part) and the idea of a child narrator hasn't held up very well), but I am disappointed. I thought Mitchell Hurwitz would head into this new show with guns ablaze, but it feels like he's holding back. Of course, he probably shouldn't have gone back to Fox in the first place, seeing as they obviously don't know how to market his stuff.

"Give me some chocolate or I will cut you."

Okay, so maybe my post about the dearth of Halloween episodes was premature.

Last night's episodes of Glee and Raising Hope were pretty awesome & thematically appropriate. Raising Hope is seriously getting better and better - Cloris Leachman is a fucking genius, and I love Jimmy's friends, especially Javier ("Baby food? What a waste. This is delicioso - it's like meat pudding"). The show manages to be fucked-up and heartwarming all at once, much like scaring your child so he'll hug you.

"I'm mad at you. You're still so hot."

Guys, I'm really sorry that it's been so long since my last post. But a long weekend at my parent's house and a necessity to spend the following mornings unpacking and rearranging my room ate up my time. Plus, I've still got to watch all the TV that I love to write about on here and man, that takes some serious dedication. So, for this post we're going to do it bullet-style so I can get out all the random thoughts I've been having - and then get back to watching Community commentary because I'm hoping to have my in-depth Community posts done by Halloween (there is commentary on every episode! Seriously, if you're thinking about a DVD to buy, Community is definitely the most awesome for your buck.). Okay, let's start the show.

- Glee is back - for realsies! After three poorly organized episodes with some very weak (or just plain obnoxious) song choices, they finally brought it this week in "Duets". OMG I love Brittany and Santana and their queerness. I love Kurt and his awesome "Faith Hill" voice rocking the cock out of "Le Jazz Hot". The songs this week were (mostly) perfection - I am already over Sam's aww-shucks Jack Johnson/Mrazziness, but other than that...I actually downloaded some new songs yesterday. I really, really wanted to hear Artie and Brittany sing together, but I also like how they developed their storyline because it made perfect sense for both of their characters. Glee has a problem with consistency of motive and emotion - it can be kind of like Gossip Girl in that regard. But thankfully in "Duets" the writers snapped out of it, realized that no one, on the show or IRL, wants to watch Rachel Berry belt a self-involved ballad at the end of every fucking episode (and OMG, how amazing was that Kurt/Rachel/Judy/Barbra number? Blew my gay little mind.). Taking the focus off of Rachel and Finn a little and making the show more of a true ensemble is a step in the right direction and I hope the writers continue this way. But, let's be honest, they probably won't.

"Turn off the Chumbawumba and scram, twerp!"

Dude, I love how surly and free with her body Meredith is - even when she's dancing on Kevin.

The Office is one of those shows that has consistently gotten better and better. I'm not of the mind that Jim and Pam getting together ruined anything about the show - they couldn't have gone on the way they were, and now they're like this awesome team and they are still hilarious together, just like always. Jim and Pam make the perfect foils to Mr. Dwight K. Schrute, and I love how their relationships have developed - sometimes they're friends, mostly they're adversaries, and their relationship is always dynamic and believable. And I think it's great to have pranks being pulled that wouldn't be possible in an office that isn't this office - it gives the audience a nice voyeuristic fantasy. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

The opening of the premiere was a great chance for everyone in the office to have a moment - which is part of what makes this show great, mining the comedy potential of all these diverse characters. People are saying that The Office couldn't go on without Steve Carell, but those people obviously haven't seen the webisodes, which are great without most of the lead actors.

However, just because he's leaving doesn't mean that Steve Carell isn't still amazing at playing Michael Scott:

"Do you think they should have had open auditions for the band Hanson? What if no one named Hanson showed up? That wouldn't even make sense. Or what if they just hired the littlest kid...and a 50-year-old guy...who was a murderer.....really safe."

and Fall TV Premiere season is upon us...

Just a heads up: I am going to try to write posts relating to as many of the season premieres (of shows that I watch) as possible, so if you're afraid of spoilers you should wait to check back until you've gone through your DVR/Sidereel schedule/Hulu queue and gotten caught up. I am especially excited for Glee, Community, Castle, The Office (more Michael and Holly??!!), Parenthood, How I Met Your Mother, and the premieres of Boardwalk Empire and Running Wilde.

If there are any other new shows premiering that I should check out, let me know - I've seen most of the previews and it mostly looks like a whole lotta awful (fucking Outsourced, anyone?), but I'm open-minded and have learned that the networks rarely know how to effectively market a good show.

It's a little ridiculous how excited I get for TV premiere season. Hopefully you'll find it infectious. Happy watching!

Image via iwatchstuff.com

Entourage knows we know they know we know

every time i think of Entourage, i think of this:

sometimes i even say it out loud.

i've watched Entourage since the beginning, and it was with the last season that i really started to realize that the show doesn't particularly interest me. here is a graph that illustrates my feelings about Entourage over time:

i've really just begun to realize how much of a safe place Entourage is for Hollywood to make fun of itself. after PaceyCon and Eva Mendes' SEX Tape, the differences between the kind of self-mocking they do on sites like FunnyOrDie and the kind that they do on this highly produced (and lauded) HBO series became really clear to me. the guest stars on Entourage are clearly playing characters that are not themselves. although you'll see them referencing their past work and possibly even trashing it, the celebrities who guest on Entourage are written to be so overblown that they become ludicrous and thus unbelievable (except, perhaps, Gary Busey, bless his crazy little heart). they are also clearly still a part of the Hollywood machine...and some of them are such bad actors that it's painfully clear they're playing a role (i'm looking at you, Mary).

but the Funny Or Die skits refer to the celebrities' pasts as a real part of who they are, even though the person they present is still obviously not a straight-up representation of who they are. and because it's presented in a medium that isn't controlled by Hollywood or aimed at making money (beyond self-promotion), it's straight-up funnier. and more real. and really...funnier.

just look at the difference between these two examples of actors mocking themselves and making references to their past, and think about they way that each video makes you relate to the actor.

Bob Saget:

James Franco:

Acting With James Franco Episode 1: "Sense Memory" from James Franco

to me, James Franco's introduction with the clips of his on-screen crying supports the version of himself that he's playing (and mocking) in the movie. on the other hand, Bob Saget's comment about doing drugs in the 90's either rings true...or gross. honestly, i don't want to hear how fucked up you possibly were around all those kids. and i don't really believe that you were. and the Hollywood whorehouse brings up a whole other set of issues.

Entourage espouses to give us something that Americans have proven they love: a glimpse into the magical and mysterious lives of the rich and famous. this is what it's like to go to Sundance! this is what it's like to get the most exclusive sneakers! this is what it's like to fuck any starlet you want! but at this point, a lot of it feels like the rich people tooting their own horn. i don't care if there are whorehouses hidden in Hollywood and auctions where famous athletes will sell you their dinosaur skull. i'm sure there are. i just don't care about them. i'm tired of the most celebrated thing in this country being a lifestyle that is, simply put, wasteful.

so, it's refreshing to me when celebrities go low-budg, unserious, and celebrate the fact that their fans may love them for a less-than critically acclaimed piece of work. and in the age of the Internet, fans are constantly seeking out something that will tell them more about their favorite celebs. this way, the celebrities can put an honest and light-hearted piece of themselves out there without revealing too much.

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Entouraaaage! bringing the focus back to the show, i'd like to direct your attention back to the graph i made. after making that graph, and writing some more, and leaving to go to a play and coming home and sleeping and then getting up to finish this post, i went searching for some images and learned that the show is now in it's seventh season. god, no wonder it's getting stale. i honestly thought we were on season 5, maybe 6. so, you know...adjust the graph accordingly, 'cause i'm too lazy to do it and it's hard to edit in MS Paint.

by this time, the relatively flat characters are already so developed that there's nowhere for

them to go from here. they're trying to give Grenier a bad-boy phase right now, but shaving

your head and doing a Cassavetes stunt and jumping out of an airplane and fucking Sasha Grey do not impress me. except for maybe that last one. seriously, they shaved his head! WTF? everyone knows the hottest part about him is his hair. gimme more of this ---->

and less of this:

Drama is ugly, annoying, and repetitive. Eric is a whiny bitch and i hate that i'm supposed to care about him. and Turtle, my lovely little Turtle, lost just enough weight to make me sad and is trying to fuck that Latina actress who is totally an Emily Valentine. there is really nothing exciting going on in the show; the characters don't learn anything or grow in any way. and maybe that's Hollywood...but it's also boring.

this brings us to Ari. you know, i hopped on the Ari train along with everyone else when Entourage came out. he was an honest and funny character. but now his stunts have gotten so overblown - they gave him too much power, and now it'm bored. and i am so unimpressed with the "bitches teaming up to get Ari 'cause they're bitches" storyline. i might be a little more forgiving if the show had a single positive female character, but i hate Sloane and though i love Debi Mazar and Ari's hot wife i'm not sure they count. Ari is most entertaining when he's in the trenches with Lloyd, trying to get shit done. and there's not enough Lloyd anymore!

ultimately, my problem with Ari comes down to this: i realized at the beginning of this season that the reason why Hollywood folk and the Emmys & whatnot love Ari Gold/Jeremy Piven is because he basically does an overblown and hilarious impersonation of their agents. those of us plebes who don't have agents don't understand why The Piv continues to get awards for playing a flat, static character...and i think it's because Hollywood loves to congratulate its own narcissism. all these actors can mock agents and the Hollywood process, which must feel liberating when you're stuck so hard in it. but what it comes down to is that Piven's performance, while convincing and funny, has zero depth. and i get really angry when original and talented actors get passed over come awards season in favor of more masturbatory statues being flung at Entourage.

(the way i feel about actors winning awards for playing the same roles year after year when the role doesn't markedly change is the subject of a whole other post.)

to sum up: Entourage has gotten stale. there's that line in the (irritating, interminable) theme song that goes, "you know i need you desperately"...and the answer to that is yes. i do know you need me, and i know you know i know. the problem is, you haven't convinced me to stick around, bros. after seven (god, i still can't believe it's been seven) years, it might be time to kick this toxic relationship to the curb and move on to something newer, fresher, and funnier.

sorry, boys. it's not me, it's you.

Images via fancast.com, buzznet.com, fashionfame.com