How I Met Your Mother: Growing Up & Losing "Friends"

Sometimes I wait so long to post not because I have nothing to say, but because I'm not sure how to say it.  Or because I keep waiting to get inspired by a show that has ceased to be inspiring.  This post is full of a bunch of things that've been rattling around in my brain and have finally reached the point where they need to be forced out.

Oh, How I Met Your Mother.  I have been meaning for months to write a post about how this season of HIMYM has been markedly better from last season (or, as I call it, The Jennifer Morrison Tragedy), but have been waiting for an exemplary episode to really bring it all together.  That episode never came.  After "The Ducky Tie" early on, so full of promises and hope and boobs, HIMYM has sort of evened out to a mostly enjoyable, mostly mediocre sitcom.  The performances of the actors continue to give the show life and spirit, but the writing just isn't as fresh.  If you go back to an episode from seasons 2, 3, or 4, you'll find it has an edge that these days, has been blunted.

"Hot. Hot hot hot."

I know it seems like this has become a Community blog, but I promise that isn't the case.  I'm watching just as much television as ever, and will be talking about HIMYM, Up All Night, and Awake in the coming week.  I wasn't planning on recapping "Contemporary Impressionists", but then I watched it and holy hell!  What an amazing half-hour of television!  Like, comedically, of course, but also artistically...they just blew me away.

So the group is back from a very long winter break, and we learn that Abed has been hiring celebrity impersonators for fun.  We also learn that Jeff has a new shrink who has put him on anti-anxiety meds, which our budding psychologist Britta believes will only increase his pathological narcissism to a dangerously high level.  I love what they've done with Britta being a psych major - everyone knows the psych majors are all the craziest (no offense intended...I was almost a psych major).  This is one of my favorite Jeff moments EVER:



"Hello." makes me giggle EVERY TIME.

And then there's this.



If Jim Rash didn't already have an Oscar, that would have just won him the Oscar of my heart.  Like...what??? Amazing.  And we are not even a quarter of the way through this episode.

"Therapisted!"

So last year, I posted a few posts about how disappointing How I Met Your Mother had gotten and how it had moved away from the edgy, interesting comedy that I had initially fallen in love with and more towards a traditional CBS sitcom style. There is this one post (you can read it here) in particular that for some reason people have been commenting on for months. Months! And they still are all irate that I said that a show that I love has been declining in quality. Mind you, I never said I hated the show - it's actually a very balanced post, and I am continually flabbergasted that people (a) care enough to comment on a post from MARCH and (b) obviously don't actually read the post because if they did they would know that I really love this show and these characters and what makes me sad is when it feels like they're not given enough to do or that they're not being written well. Ah, well, such is the internet. (Also, (c) I think it's hilarious that somebody commented to defend Ted's dumb house. Sorry, dude, even the other characters think that Ted buying a house was dumb and totally crazy. That is part of the joke.)

Anyway, as I've been watching this season, my thoughts on HIMYM change with every episode. Sometimes Barney makes two really cheap, pretty gross fat-girls-are-ugly-and-sexless jokes before the intro. Sometimes there is Nora (ugh). Last week's Slutty Pumpkin episode was remarkably disappointing (Katie Holmes should not ever try to do comedy). But the addition of Kal Penn has been wonderful, Marshall and Lily have been given more to do this season, and even Ted is more bearable for whatever reason (maybe because he's not the main character most of the time anymore?). And then sometimes there are episodes like "The Ducky Tie" that are so great (let's hear it for bottle episodes!) that it renews my hope for the series. "Disaster Averted" was one of those episodes.

"Who ARE these people?"

Ok, let's see. With so much tv happening these days, I keep getting overwhelmed and putting off posts that I want to write until it's pretty much too late to write them. So I'm just gonna make a list of points and go down it, as I am wont to do.

- After re-watching last week's Community, I take back whatever I said about it in my last post. It was great. Everyone was great. The Chang part was a little weird, but I'm past it. Omar was great, like always. Danny Pudi's facial expressions and Donald Glover's line delivery were, like always, the best. Strike that and reverse it, and they're still The Best. "Second paintball."

- I have watched the first two episodes of House out of curiosity but man have they lost me now. I really just don't have time for the same old bullshit and House's hair is ugly and although I find Charlene Yi charming she is a terrible actress and not made for network tv and really that show is just SO BAD! So bad.

- How I Met Your Mother is actually getting better this season! I mean, it's still not up to Swarley par, but it's much better than last year. Bringing Kal Penn on was a great idea, and definitely brings some tension to the Barney's wedding plot point even though obviously Barney and Robin are getting married but also obviously they have to do something interesting to get us there. So. Good news! Also loving the Ducky Tie. That whole episode was great and boobariffic and would have been perfect had it not been for Victoria whom I despise.

"Classic Schmosby!"

Ok, before I start getting into the specifics of How I Met Your Mother's first two episodes, I want to mention the two-episode premiere fad that swept the networks this fall. Not to be confused with actual hour-long episodes, a format that I usually love because it allows comedies to stretch their legs a little, these are two disparate episode shown back to back. However, only one is technically the premiere. The second is, by the rules of logic, the second episode of the season. It is therefore, with no exceptions, a sad let-down after the momentum-carrying excitement of the first episode. The first episode sets the stage and is designed to push us towards the new and hopefully captivating themes of the unfolding season. But it needs to be allowed to unfold, and given room to push. Unfailing, from HIMYM to Modern Family to The Big Bang Theory, these double premieres guaranteed ratings, but also negative comparisons from critics. It's not that the second episodes were all that bad (though they kind of were), but the juxtaposition couldn't help but reflect poorly on them, like a mediocre comic who is made to follow Louis CK.

ANYway, How I Met Your Mother didn't have a great night over-all, even if you average it out. The wedding episode (and can I just say DUH-DOY BARNEY AND ROBIN ARE GETTING MARRIED I called that a year ago and drawing it out to be some sort of mystery is dumb) was not great. Other than drunk Marshall (who is fabulous) and occasional bits of Barney, it was pretty lame. And TWO fat-women-are-ugly jokes before the intro? Gross. Just real gross and lazy, writers. I mean, Robin was great except her TERRIBLE dress was super distracting. But remember that momentum I was talking about before that a premiere is supposed to provide for the forthcoming season? Yeah, this didn't really have it. Oh sure, pregnancy, and Barney and Robin not getting together and then totally getting together, and Ted and - we'll get to that.

"See You Next Fall"

I'm so sorry it's been a whole week since my last post. But this is my third job, and the only one I don't get paid for, and it just so happens that my other two jobs are also culminating in these last two weeks of May, meaning that I barely had time to watch all the season finales this week, much less write about them. So - here's another big-ass Sunday morning post, just for you.

How I Met Your Mother

Not a bad episode, overall. Kind of a nothing plot leading up to the so-called cliffhanger, but that's 6th season HIMYM for you. Even Chi McBride and Dave Foley, two of my favorites, couldn't really do anything to help the episode beyond just being in it because the writing wasn't there. I did really like Barney and Robin coming together to keep Ted from getting back together with FJM, but the above picture may be the best thing to come out of the whole episode. I thought the pregnancy reveal was illogical and un-clever - just because you're a television character doesn't mean you would continually return to a restaurant that makes you sick (and Marshall & Ted's favorite pizza joint doesn't count - they were in COLLEGE). If that were true it would make humans dumber than the animals that don't eat monarch butterflies because they look like other, poisonous butterflies. So.

Robin and Barney are going to get together eventually, like I predicted. The problem with this is that it was already a cliffhanger two seasons ago - but then the writers freaked out and had NO IDEA how to handle their relationship and concocted the dumbest breakup story ever. I'm pretty sure that episode was the shark-jumper for me. Oh, sure, there have been great moments since then, but the overall quality of the show has been in decline ever since. The truth is that I can't really get completely behind any CBS show these days - and the new fall lineup doesn't show any improvement (except that new show with Ben Linus! That I will watch). It's just such milquetoast, hypocritical programming - they're afraid to do anything edgy in their comedies, but have gotten progressively more disgusting and disturbing with their crime procedurals. I love Bill Irwin and all (my mom went to clown school with him) but his SEASONS-LONG storyline on CSI has sucked almost all of the fun out of it - though most of the blame should be laid at Laurence Fishbourne's feet. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I miss Numb3rs, and I miss the days when HIMYM felt like it was getting away with something. Now it just feels like a show that comes on before Two And A Half Men reruns that doesn't give NPH nearly enough to do.

"That's very Wool."

It's May, which means it's season finale time! Now, I'm not going to be going through EVERY season finale (Parenthood and Archer have already finished - one, disappointingly; the other, marvelously), but for those that truly warrant it, you can bet I'll be there to talk about it. And in case you're wondering why my posting is sporadic or why I haven't said anything about HIMYM's lark "The Perfect Cocktail" or "A Fistful Of Paintballs", these are the reasons why:

- For two-part finales, I'm not going to go into it (even though "A Fistful Of Paintballs" was SO AWESOME so far) until the second one has aired. Redundancy annoys me.

-I am currently working on two spectacularly helpful lists for the summer, including shows you should use the summer hiatus to check out or catch up on, and what shows have new episodes airing this summer that are worth watching (Burn Notice? Not on the list. Wipeout? Made the cut.). So check back over the next few weeks and there should be plenty television talk to go around.

In the meantime, I'll just say that the 30 Rock finale was everything I've come to expect of 30 Rock this season - mostly disappointing with a few great jokes and guest stars making most of them. Will Forte bothers me in almost everything else he does, but his role here has been a hilarious highlight since it began. Victor Garber can put me in a wool sweater anytime he likes...but only if he promises to take it off me afterwards.

Not really, that's gross, I've been admiring Victor Garber since I was a wee child watching The First Wives' Club and he had grey hair THEN which must make him very old NOW. But still, there's no denying his greatness.

Anyway, stay tuned and don't miss all the great finales! And if you haven't seen "A Fistful Of Paintballs, Part 1", yet, what in the name of Sawyer are you waiting for??? Watch it here or here.

Image via TV.com

"I still think about him in the shower"

Guys, I know I've been slacking. But there is a lot going on in my life right now, including a lot of travel, and it's just hard to keep up. Plus there just hasn't been a whole lot of great TV on lately. I don't think that Monday's episode of How I Met Your Mother qualifies as great, but it was noteworthy and I figured I should talk about it.

Some people may wonder where my love for HIMYM went. Well, to be honest, I'm not really sure. Part of it started with the shift of Barney's sexism from funny and tongue-in-cheek to something to be celebrated. Also - racist? The "Vietnamese shame wheel" joke was neither funny nor at all ok on a show where the only people of color are a cab/limo driver and Wayne Brady. And it was made TWICE. Part of it started when they broke up Robin and Barney because Barney got fat and Robin got...tired? Part of it started when Marshall and Lily's storylines got reduced to baby/dead dad. Part of it started when Jennifer Morrison showed up, but I've come to realize that it's not all her fault, although she should really never, ever try to be funny because those stricken eyes of hers are only good for narrowing to judge Doctors Chase and House and/or widening while birthing Captain Kirk in an alternate universe. But it has gotten beyond Jennifer Morrison.

The truth is that HIMYM has lost its edge. When it was a small sitcom struggling for popularity, there was much more envelope-pushing going on and the comedy was fresh. Now that (with the timely death of Two And A Half Men) it's competing with The Big Bang Theory for the title of the most mediocre sitcomy sitcom on CBS, the comedy is much more middle of the road. It's Jay Leno comedy, designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator. It's lost its intelligence, that unexpected aspect of the show that made you feel like the writers were getting away with putting this edgy comedy on CBS by disguising its jokes with a laugh track. Take the entire premise of the slap bet. Here is a joke that has stretched over multiple seasons, giving the most entertainment payoff to the hardcore fans. Something so weird and unconventional has provided the show with some of its best episodes, and managed to do so without the slapping edging into cruel or violent territory. Great stuff.

"Tina Cohen-Loser"

Ok. Glee and me. We're making it work.

Obviously I wasn't going to stop watching, even if last week was the worst episode ever. A girl's gotta have an informed opinion. And I'm glad I didn't, because this week gave us, if not a great episode, certainly the best in a long time.

First, let's get the songs out of the way. The opening number was, properly, something we've heard a thousand times before from Blaine & The Pips. I thought Kurt's "Blackbird" was beautiful, and I totally understand it triggering Blaine's lightbulb moment. One of the best things about a lot of this episode was they not only played to certain cast members' vocal strengths, but the autotuning for the most part took a back seat. Santana's "Trouty Mouth" and Puck's "Big-Ass Heart" brought some nice comedy (Mercedes' "Hell No" had an obnoxious, oft-repeating catch phrase and too clearly showcased that the ONLY storyline she has had this season revolved around tater tots. So. No.), but like, FOR REALSIES, none of these kids could have written (AND ARRANGED, is that jazz band made up of musical leprechauns or some shit that are always available and know every song ever, even ones just written by a dumb-ass high school student? Way to be way serious on "Trouty Mouth". I'm looking at you, drums.) any of these songs in the time allotted, except for the two sung at regionals. We'll get to that.

I want to say that this episode really delivered on something it's been missing for a while: the heartfelt emotions and moments of pure, helplessly un-hip joy. That being said, the really awful shit that the past few episodes hath wrought (a no-fun, psychopathic Sue; a no-fun, man-hating Santana; too much Blaine) was still there in full force. Sue punched a woman for no discernible reason. In the face. To the ground. Like, what? Moving on, there was thank you oh my dear unbelievable lord in the sky only the tiniest amount of Schue this week. The best was Santana telling him to stop touching her. We really all want you to stop touching anybody at all, Mr. Schue. Oh, that reminds me, the worst was Holly Holliday calling him in the middle of effing class to talk about her yoga retreat. Barf. Wait, sorry, the WORST was him then telling his students that the person he was just being gross with on the phone is another teacher. No.

10th Anniversary Crying Edition

Ok guys, I know I've been absent, but even bloggers need to take a vacation sometimes (and I can't say that day I spent watching almost all of Arrested Development Season 2 was wasted). But now I'm BACK, and the new year will bring lots of wonderful stuff from Girl Glows Green: Parks & Recreation returns, Episodes (with Matt LeBlanc) and Mr. Sunshine (with Matthew Perry) are gonna be starting soon, and of course, my giant Community post is on the way. I finished watching the commentaries over winter break and now am just waiting for the giant chunk of time I call the weekend to sit down and hammer it out. But FO REALZ it should be up by next week.

The new year of shows has already started, and How I Met Your Mother turned out a bang-up episode, with NPH doing a great job as Barney's chill doppelganger. BUT then it ended tragically in a way that I can't really deal with and don't want to write about, so I might take the week off next week from HIMYM. Tragedy and sitcoms only mix when there's funny and sad at the same time. All sad, with people sobbing and whatnot, just brings us all down from the escapism of television.

But this should cheer you up! From the minds that brought you PaceyCon, here's a lovely little tidbit that shows, once again, why Dawson's Creek and the actors therein are awesome. Well, except Katie Holmes. Apparently Funny Or Die realized the greatness of this and are having a whole VanDerWeek over there with a new video every day. Anyway, I've been laughing at crying Dawson for years! And then some genius decided to make it into a gif. If I knew how to make gifs I'd make a whole glossary of Creek gifs, because they're just that awesome.

Vandermemes from James Van Der Beek

This one is pretty great, too, although would work much better with Joshua Jackson. Dawson annoyed the shit out of me; PACEY was the one I compared all my relationships to.

Asshole For Hire from James Van Der Beek

Happy new year from Girl Glows Green and the people on your television!

Images via James Van Der Memes

Hot Ham Water

"So watery...and with just a smack of ham." This post is dedicated to Alia Burdick, the only person other than myself and co-founder Katherine Bickford to studiously attend all four Motherboys. This bountiful image of Gob is for her.

** EDIT: after painstakingly picking the perfect pictures, the OP has decided that they should go away. Please be patient while I find new ones. **

I'm not really sure how it began. The idea started as a kernal; Kate was housesitting at a place where we could smoke weed inside, and we really just wanted to hang out and get high and drink cider and eat pizza and watch TV. And at that time, she hadn't seen all of the third season of Arrested Development.

If you have never seen Arrested Development, you should stop reading this blog and go get on Netflix or anywhere else on the goddamn internet and watch it ALL RIGHT NOW because (a) this is Motherboy season and (b) what the hell is wrong with you? Your life must be so empty.

To continue my tale, once Kate and I put our awesome brains together, we decided to make it into a gathering where all our friends could come and hang out and have the best Arrested Development marathon ever. A few days in between Christmas and New Year's were chosen as the perfect time, because everyone's sick of their family and needs some time to just chill before going out and raging on NYE. We bought a quarter and a 12 pack of hard cider and settled in with blankets and beanbag chairs.

Things had been going well; we were high, eating sourdough bread and spinach dip, flying through the first disc. Somewere around "My Mother, The Car" Arcata lost power for what would be days or weeks, depending on where you lived. Our New Year's Eve would be generator-powered with a Plaza full of chaotic dark mayhem. But that's another story; in this moment, the TV was out. What to do?

I opened my laptop and the marathon continued. When my battery died, a friend brought her's over, and another friend did the same. People brought blankets since the heat was out, and we continued on for two days. On the third - a Motherboy miracle! - the house regained power and we continued late into the night, lounging and smoking and drinking and eating and, most importantly, laughing together.

And that is the story of the first Motherboy, and how the laptop batteries and the spirit of Arrested Development brought us all a little joy during the great blackout of 2006.

A Christmas-Themed Movie Snack

Oh Frabjous Day, calloo, callay! How I Met Your Mother is back in top form. Maybe not Hot-Sister-Carols form, but "False Positive" is pretty awesome nonetheless.

"That's exactly the element of whimsy this celebration of love needs!"

J'adore Jorge Garcia

I will watch this man do anything. I would watch him on Dancing With The Stars; I would watch him on that dutch oven show they talk about on The Soup. I would even watch him on Grey's Anatomy (sacrilege!). I will most fucking definitely watch him on one of my favorite shows that's been recently floundering. I don't take back any of my previous criticism, but OMG this will almost definitely save How I Met Your Mother Season 6 for me:

Good job, producers. You might just be able turn this whole thing around. And Jorge Garcia, you light up my life.

Image via Inquistr.com

Two Beavers Are Better Than One...

...But three Robin Sparkles videos may be too many.

To begin with, I was wrong. Barney and Robin aren't getting married (this season), stupid Punchy is. LAME. No one cares about Punchy, the turnaround from him being a stupid jerk to being awesome was ridiculous, and did I mention that no one cares about Punchy?

Before I get to the main event, let me just say that this episode was one of the better ones this season (no Jennifer Morrison), but it still didn't live up to my high standards. There was so much shoved into one episode that the disparate storylines, even though they all had moments I enjoyed, felt stilted and forced. There wasn't enough room for the jokes to breathe or the plot to develop.

So, Glitter. Did the repeated use of Glitter make anyone think of Mariah Carey? Because when I hear Glitter as a name or a title, I think of Mariah Carey in an airbrushed shirt on TRL, making Carson Daly uncomfortable and handing out ice cream and generally having a mental breakdown in front of a live studio audience. I definitely don't think of a random girl with a terribly fake Canadian accent.

Let's go back a little. The original Robin Sparkles video, "Let's Go To The Mall", was hilarious in that it was actually a rather accurate parody of Tiffany and other similar pop stars. It was explained that "The 80's didn't come to Canada until 1992" and the song had great lines like "He's got hair like Gretzky and does jumps on his skateboard" and "I'm gonna rock your body 'til Canada Day". And, of course, "Let's Go To The Mall" originates the slap bet with its porniness.

Annie's Boobs Did It!

Let's check in on the week, shall we?

- The opening of this week's How I Met Your Mother made me groan out loud and actually mutter the words, "Oh, brother." I cannot fully express how much I abhor the casting of Jennifer Morrison (although Kyle McLaughlan was great in his guest spot) and the direction that Ted's storyline is heading. Even Marshall and Lily lost me this week. A shame that the rest of the cast are veering off in one direction as Barney and Robin head in an entirely different, hilarious, and captivating one. Barney knows who his dad is!!! And Robin is the only one who knows! They are SO getting married. But even that awesomeness or all the touching can't distract me from the lump of un-funny terribleness that is Jennifer Morrison.

- I just heard that Running Wilde is being taken off the air for the rest of November, which means it's almost certainly headed for cancellation. I can't say I'm surprised (It's gotten a kind of weak (Fa'ad is my favorite part) and the idea of a child narrator hasn't held up very well), but I am disappointed. I thought Mitchell Hurwitz would head into this new show with guns ablaze, but it feels like he's holding back. Of course, he probably shouldn't have gone back to Fox in the first place, seeing as they obviously don't know how to market his stuff.

"It's elementary, my dear Scherbatson"

I really hate writing this post. But it simply has to be done.

How I Met Your Mother isn't going so well. I mean, there are still occasionally some great lines, but the stories this season just haven't been nearly as interesting as say, Community (big Community post is coming!), and there's been way too much focus on Ted and his stupid new love-interest, who I hate. There have been some definite bright points in the episodes from Season 6, but "Canning Randy" may be one of the worst HIMYM episodes ever.

To begin with, I don't think Will Forte is funny, and even the awesomeness of Bob Odenkirk can't balance him out (the best scenes in this ep are with Marshall and Arthur). To begin again with, that Walk Of Shame joke at the beginning was really lame (also, why can't we call it the Walk Of I Got Some, Booyah? There's nothing shameful about getting laid.) - it would've been slightly better if they'd had a guy thrown in the mix. HIMYM has always been ha-ha sexist, but they're moving quickly towards for-reals sexist. Who cares about some random dude Robin did or didn't sleep with? I might have forgiven the boring Robin plotline if the payoff had been anything good. And god, that car alarm joke is SO OLD it was simply painful to watch over and over again. Ditto the horse's head. And seriously, "Where's the poop?" is the worst catchphrase ever. Continuing on in the bad jokes, Wharmpuss doesn't sound enough like "warm piss" to make the joke land until you actually see the label. All in all, it was some of the weakest and most unoriginal comedy I've seen in a while.

dun dun dun dun dun DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN

So, you know, it was a slow week this week. After the grandiosity of the Mad Men finale, everything else just sort of seemed to pale in comparison. How I Met Your Mother was good, but not groundbreaking. Running Wilde is getting better and better. Community's "Messianic Myths" episode was so awesome I watched it twice, but I don't really have much to say other than I have never seen a show handle religion as well as Community does.

But straight up the best show this week was South Park, with their brilliant episode "Insheeption". If you've seen Inception, you've got to watch it, so go NOW! I won't ruin anything for you. And if you have seen it then the title of this post might make sense.

"I'm committing mentacide. My brain is attacking itself."

Bored To Death is a comedy about three men living in New York City. They smoke a lot of pot, which I like, and are unapologetically homoerotic, which I also like. There's something to do with failing at being a writer and a fake private detective agency. It takes place mostly in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and I'm sure is exploiting the area's hipster popularity as well as its opportunities for comedy. Bored To Death is like a well-regarded novel that centers entirely on masturbation: it's self-aware, mildly pretentious, and overall it is very, very funny.

"What lightweight outfit, pink or white, makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?"

OMG Barney and Robin are totes gonna get married!

"It's a sundress, by the way."

How I Met Your Mother's premiere episode last night, "Big Days", was familiar and tender and hilarious and right at the highly developed level of comedy I've come to expect from the show. Remember when I was talking about Friends' ability to effortlessly combine the tears with the laughter? HIMYM does it, too, but rarely enough that when you tear up, it's about something big. Of course, Marshall and Lily are just Chandler and Monica 2.0, so...it's not too unexpected.

OMG Barney and Robin! As soon as she came down in that sundress and the way that he looked at her - I knew it was on. If I'm wrong about this it might just destroy me, but I can't be wrong. Who else would Ted be best man for? I mean, it might be his dad or something, but I'm on the Barney and Robin getting married train and I'm not getting off until somebody makes me.

Overall, I'm obviously glad to have the show back. I am not so excited for the addition of Jennifer Morrison to the cast (as The Mother, I'm assuming) because I've never seen her be funny ever, but until they find a way to make everything all about Ted again, I'm loving every minute of it.

OMG Barney and Robin! I knew Robin could never end up with someone named Don.

Image via tvserieslounge.com

CBS Fall Lineup - Hulk Smash!

Wherein I bitch about competing scheduling.

Before I start, I'd like to state for the record that I'm not a fan of CBS as a network. While they produce How I Met Your Mother (premieres tonight!), their shows tend to be some of the shows I hate most (Everybody Loves Raymond; A Man, An Ugly Teenager, And A Douchnozzle, etc). Now, CBS knows how to turn out a crime procedural like nobody's business - and I will freely admit my love for OG CSI, Numb3rs, Cold Case, and Without a Trace - but they have traditionally been a more old-school, conservative network. Their fall schedule looks neither new nor especially exciting. But, you know...let's take a closer look!

$#*! My Dad Says

You know, everyone's been saying that this looks horrible, but the preview doesn't look that bad (maybe I just love Will Sasso). I think the ultimate problem this show is gonna have is that CBS cut off its balls. I never read the Twitter account, but I believe that it was full of hilarious profanity. I mean, the fact that you can't say "shit" on TV is already ridiculous; now you have a TV show that emphasizes broadcasting censorship. FAIL.