My Favorite Things

I have a problem with "Best Of" lists. I'm not very good at ranking things, and the end of the year always brings these lists where one thing is often ranked above or below a different, almost incomparable thing. Why must I decide which is my absolute favorite? I've been watching a lot of Arrested Development lately, as I am wont to do at this time of year, and I love it so much - but I can't say I love it more or less than something else...I have enough love to go around! Television and I have a polyamorous relationship. So here are my favorite shows, moments, people, and things from 2011, in absolutely no particular order.

"We are trying to help you!"

This is gonna be one huge post wherein we discuss the four new shows I managed to watch this week. If I was Zooey Deschanel's character on New Girl, I would probably take this space to sing an annoying little song going all *it's gonna be awesome* in a random squeaky voice. Thankfully, I am not. I am me. So we will proceed with dignity.

New Girl

I did not come to this show expecting it to be anything other than an obnoxious vehicle for Zooey Deschanel's particular Etsy-store-non-brand of obnoxiousness. And it definitely did not disappoint. I mean, even that cast photo just screams, "I AM THE MOST ANNOYING!" I will admit that I found myself laughing a couple times (though I can't remember those times and I didn't take notes and lo siento, I'm not going back to watch it again). But I'm pretty sure those times were all in the first five minutes. From then on it was just your average look-at-the-differences-between-men-and-women-isn't-that-hilarious bullshit. Not even the presence of Hot Cop Leo from Veronica Mars could forgive how dumb and tired this show is. And the singing! OH DEAR LORD STOP SINGING. I don't care if you like her band, the fucking little "I'm awkward" songs are not cute stop singing this show is turning into a Mandy Moore movie circa 2004 except with worse singing just STOP. Also I know exactly where it is going because clearly she's going to fall for the romantic one and then sleep with the sexy one and eff it up and the black one will yell but never really be a romantic interest because it seems like Fox and CBS are reluctant to do interracial relationships, at least between black people and the vast hoardes of white people that populate their scripted shows (Tell me I'm wrong. Mercedes and Sam the white boy were together for about half a second before he had to leave so she could date a big, fat, black dude (nothing against those types of dudes, I am actually really into them, call me, Ruben Studdard!) because we should all only date our own kind. I am literally begging someone to tell me I'm wrong about this). And along the way there will be so much bad singing and so many terrible girls-in-glasses jokes. So, I gave this show a chance and now I am done because heterosexism and racism and just yuck. It really does prove to me how dumb Zooey Deschanel must be IRL because I can't believe she would read this pilot script and be like, "This is definitely going to be my next career move and it will be the best career move anyone has ever made." To sum up: this show should not exist, and you can blame Zooey Deschanel for the fact that it does.

Okay, fine, one Quote

"Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson. ....Tiger Boobs!"

"Bird Internet"

Just realized that this is my 101st entry on girl glows green. Huzzah! Let us celebrate the moment by talking about tonight's awesome 30 Rock episode, "Plan B". Regular readers will be glad to know that a very similar celebration of last night's super-great Modern Family is on its way, but for the first time I'm gonna post on things out of order because I haven't had time to rewatch Modern Family but I just watched 30 Rock and it blew me away.

Maybe it's because this season has been so lackluster and filled with stuff that just hasn't worked. But last week's foray into reality TV with "Queen Of Jordan" was tons of fun, if not the comedy powerhouse that "Plan B" was. Even with the episode being unfortunately bookended by traditional "Hungry Hungry Liz" jokes, I was seriously impressed by how effortlessly 30 Rock returned to its classic and most hilarious roots.

"It's like something out of Jules Verne!"

I've been meaning to talk about Showtime's new show, Episodes, but I wanted to wait until I got a better sense of the show as a whole. In the interim I watched a show starring David Cross that premiered on IFC in October, The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret, and realized that the two shows raise some really interesting comparisons. So, here we go, two shows at once!

Episodes is about a married British writing team who come to LA to help produce an American adaptation of their BAFTA-winning show, Lyman's Boys. The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret (hereafter known as TIPDOTM or simply Todd Margaret) is about an unqualified temp who gets sent to England to sell a toxic energy drink called Thunder Muscle when his company gets taken over by Brent Wilts (Will Arnett), the loudest, angriest, douchiest guy you're ever going to meet. Both shows find humor in these classic fish-out-of-water scenarios, where expectations and long-held stereotypes are tromped on all over the place. However, even just three episodes in, I can tell that Episodes is already much funnier and much better put-together than TIPDOTM has any hopes of being.

"Get me mounted!"

Man, it's so nice to have Mitchell Hurwitz making stuff for my TV again.

Running Wilde was quite good. It was strong for a pilot, where the task of introducing the characters and premise can often take away from the funny. It was irreverent and topical and there is a child named Puddle, which I love. Will Arnett...how it has taken this long for him to get his own show is beyond me, but I suspect he was holding out to work with Mitchell Hurwitz. He is SO goddamn hilarious - but you all know that. And who knew that Keri Russell was funny? I like that they aren't afraid to make fun of her eco-groovy self-righteousness: "But if I were the type of person who needed to feel superior I would say, 'I feel sorry for that shallow rich guy...but good for that deep poor girl for not judging him.'"

Just some of my favorite bits:

"Attention Earth rappers - "

"Rapers. Rapers. Rapers!"

The piano that Steve is not playing.

"His breath is so milky"

"Nothing worse than a wide-awake drunk"

"Well, on the other hand, you smell pretty good...what the hell"

"I saved a horse today!...I'm going to. I know where I left it."

Ok, I'm not going to ruin it all for you. Suffice to say, if you are a fan of laughing you should definitely be watching this show.

"And for the nothing. Mostly you do it for the nothing."