New Girl
I did not come to this show expecting it to be anything other than an obnoxious vehicle for Zooey Deschanel's particular Etsy-store-non-brand of obnoxiousness. And it definitely did not disappoint. I mean, even that cast photo just screams, "I AM THE MOST ANNOYING!" I will admit that I found myself laughing a couple times (though I can't remember those times and I didn't take notes and lo siento, I'm not going back to watch it again). But I'm pretty sure those times were all in the first five minutes. From then on it was just your average look-at-the-differences-between-men-and-women-isn't-that-hilarious bullshit. Not even the presence of Hot Cop Leo from Veronica Mars could forgive how dumb and tired this show is. And the singing! OH DEAR LORD STOP SINGING. I don't care if you like her band, the fucking little "I'm awkward" songs are not cute stop singing this show is turning into a Mandy Moore movie circa 2004 except with worse singing just STOP. Also I know exactly where it is going because clearly she's going to fall for the romantic one and then sleep with the sexy one and eff it up and the black one will yell but never really be a romantic interest because it seems like Fox and CBS are reluctant to do interracial relationships, at least between black people and the vast hoardes of white people that populate their scripted shows (Tell me I'm wrong. Mercedes and Sam the white boy were together for about half a second before he had to leave so she could date a big, fat, black dude (nothing against those types of dudes, I am actually really into them, call me, Ruben Studdard!) because we should all only date our own kind. I am literally begging someone to tell me I'm wrong about this). And along the way there will be so much bad singing and so many terrible girls-in-glasses jokes. So, I gave this show a chance and now I am done because heterosexism and racism and just yuck. It really does prove to me how dumb Zooey Deschanel must be IRL because I can't believe she would read this pilot script and be like, "This is definitely going to be my next career move and it will be the best career move anyone has ever made." To sum up: this show should not exist, and you can blame Zooey Deschanel for the fact that it does.
Okay, fine, one Quote
"Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson. ....Tiger Boobs!"
Up All Night
I am stoked that this show is so great! I mean, I figured it would be great because the cast is so stellar, but I was a little concerned with the whole "baby" part of it. Thank god the writing is totally fresh and modern and although I know it's pretty un-hip to use the word hip, this show is hip without getting into Diablo Cody-land. Christina Applegate is as reliably charming as ever, Will Arnett is still doing Will Arnett but playing an easily-likeable character, which is a nice change for him. But the best part of Up All Night is Maya Rudolph, hands-down. Playing Applegate's boss, a daytime talk show host named Ava, she shines in every scene she's in. The demanding-boss stereotype is rather played out, but Rudolph plays Ava with a unique hilarity that puts her in an entirely new category. I watched the first two episodes and I can't wait for more. Good job Emily Spivey! Good job Lorne Michaels! Good job everyone on this show! You all should watch it, it totally wins my vote for best new show so far.
Notes & Quotes
"This baby might be a good thing, because some day, you're gonna die."
Raising Hope should take some cute-baby cues from Up All Night, because this baby is legit cute. Hope is just a creep.
"I hope you take it as a compliment that I'm willing to speak freely around you."
"Office cleanse! Office cleanse!"
"Burn, Ellen!"
*POP* "Eyy-ohh!
"Yeah, 'cause raising a human's no work at all."
"Summer of 92, it's me, Rick James, Ian Ziering, Eddie Murphy, in the back of a white stretch limo. We were going to the best sushi place..."
"Are we dead?"
***
"It's like old-fashioned, but in a modern way that I never would've considered"
"I said...teqwila."
"Now we have to move."
"Mighty Mighty Bosstones?"
"Yeah. For baby money."
And then everything that Maya Rudolph does for the rest of the episode.
Person Of Interest
This is one of those shows that has a THING and interestingly enough their thing is a new way to solve crimes that involves being a scary vigilante I guess who is anti-violence but seems to really enjoy shooting people's kneecaps off? And also Ben Linus is rich and guilty and basically just getting his Ben Linus on which I am pretty cool with. I was intrigued by the premise and the mystery and am interested to see where things go, but here are my thoughts so far:
1. Jim Caviezel is a really bad actor.
2. Michael Emerson is a really good actor!
3. Jim Caviezel is even worse than Matthew Fox.
4. Taraji P. Henson is super hot.
5. Wait, did the mystery just get solved?
I will keep watching, but I have a feeling this show is gonna get all crime-procedural up in here pretty damn quick.
Pan Am
Another show that pleasantly surprised me! Of the two network Mad Men ripoffs, this is the one that looked like it was worth checking out (and it seems I was right, I didn't watch The Playboy Club but ugh, I don't think anybody else did either). Obviously, it's not Mad Men. You can't duplicate the greatest show of our time that tackles feminist issues with subtle aplomb and is the best at acting and writing and costumes and everything. But Pan Am is a fun frolic through the not-entirely-believable world of stewardesses in the early '60s (although it does begin in 1963 in order to eschew the '50s holdover that the early '60s had) and I'm along for the ride for now. The show focuses on four women (or five, if you count Bridget) whose names I can't remember, one of whom is Christina Ricci and man, it bums me out that they didn't make her gain some weight for this role because I love her, but if they wanted authentic they should all have a little more meat on the bones. Ah well, it's an easy thing to get past because very quickly the show sweeps you up into its jetsetting world of sex, romance, marriage, spies, Cubans, and Greenwich Village. Although the actress who plays the spy lady is someone I really dislike and the actor who plays the jerkface co-captain played a murderous psychopath on a crime procedural and I can't think of him as anything but a murderous psychopath, this show is entertaining enough that I'm willing to ignore these negative instincts and stick with Pan Am for a while. I have a friend who is a stewardess (Hi, Clair!) and watching the show makes me think of her, galavanting all over the world and dealing with asshole passengers and cocky pilots. I'm excited to see where Pan Am is going, and I'll try to make time in my busy schedule to keep up with the girls in blue.
That's all for new shows. I still haven't watched A Gifted Man, and I'm not going to unless someone tells me it's the best thing ever. My TV load is pretty overwhelming right now - there are so many shows I still haven't written about and I haven't even watched Boardwalk Empire (because I've been dreading it because that show can be sooooo dulllll). But my time is a little more open now that I'm not studying, so hopefully my post turnaround will be much quicker going forward. Did I miss a new show that you think is great? Let me know (but sorry, I'm not gonna watch The Ringer).
Images via The Dead Bolt, MovieDataList, TVFanatic, IMDB, PopularCritic, SmallScreenScoop
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