So, Weeds recaps. I guess this is happening. Get excited!
I came to Weeds for the weed. It was a fun show to get high and watch. But there's more of a reason for why I've stuck with it through everything, defending the show through good times and bad. This new season isn't off to a perfect start, but the characters are interesting, the acting is great, and I've been suspending my disbelief while watching Weeds for so long that it's second nature by now.
This third episode starts with Nancy in drug class (unfortunately, not a place where they teach you about all the best drugs) as a result of her impulsive stoning last week. I can really see how prison has changed her - not just because of shit like that, but in the difference in the way she moves, and the looks in her eyes. Nancy certainly hasn't come out of prison much improved in terms of likability; she still fucks her way into getting what she wants (even if what she wants is just fucking) and is still attracted to terrible, dangerous men. Honestly, would we be in all this mess if she had just gone onto the internet and found herself a dom? Probs not! ANYway, she is taking notes in drug class IN A MOST OBVIOUS FASHION WTF oh yes sorry, I forgot - disbelief is suspended - because we know she wants to start dealing and the best way to do that is to get a pound of weed (yes, a single pound) and then corner the market that the only two drug dealers in New York City (AHAHAHAHAHA) have left vacant. !Buena suerte! !Ten divertido con todo el chingado!
Ok, we are not even 30 seconds into this episode and already it's absurd so I'm just going to keep making fun of it and try to intersperse some insightful commentary along the way.
Remember how Silas' dead dad (that guy, Jeffrey Dean Morgan who looks like RJD) isn't actually his dad? And his dad is a dude named Lars (at least it's not Hans or Franz, giggle)? So Silas is still mad at Nancy, and everyone else is still kinda wtf about it, too, but they're willing to let it slide because, you know, eyebrows and hugs.
Andy and Shane go to visit Nancy and she is drinking coffee out of a clear cup that is obviously supposed to remind us of all the iced coffee she used to drink in Agrestic, etc, but all I can think is that straws are definitely not a luxury that a halfway house is going to provide and did she buy her own straws and seriously, what is up with the straw? Shane is all naive (those sideburns just scream "I came of age in Scandinavia") but his eyebrows really are quite effusive. Remember when he shot the cougar? Good times. Justin Kirk remains one of the best actors for both comedy and drama and everything in between. Andy's words are bitter, but his body language is something I recognize, because I've felt it myself - when you can't help wanting someone but also kind of hate them and also they ruined your life and also you would do anything they wanted. It is The Worst, and no wonder he looks so miserable.
For a second I thought Lizzy Caplan was on the show now! But no, it's just Sabrina The Teenage Witch's Sad Friend, preparing to seduce Andy with her bullshit artist bullshit. Sigh.
Ugh, Jill. I should just admit right now that I have never been able to stand Jennifer Jason Leigh and maybe that's because the only characters she plays are cunts. Can you tell me a time when she didn't play a total cunt? And she's married to Noah Baumbach (UGH) who made one great movie, The Squid & The Whale, and then squandered all of the enormous quantity of goodwill and respect that earned him by making Margot At The Fucking Wedding. But anyway, Jill is so clearly an insane cunt (sorry if you hate or take offense at that word, I like it, and it's a fictional character, so chill out) and not a good mom, but HELLOOOOO? Neither is Nancy! Look at Nancy's kids - Silas has issues oozing out of his thousands of tiny pores, and Shane wears them in his facial hair. What the fuck does she want with a kid who looks like his crazy-ass father and who she only didn't abort in order to keep his dad from murdering her? Like, yes, it's your baby and yes, your sister is officially The Worst, but who else is gonna take care of the kid? Andy? Moral of the story: always marry Andy when you have the chance.
So then she gets sent to the principal's office and somehow cons her with her whole sad my-sister-is-a-cunt thing and gets out to go find a job but instead of actually looking for a job she's just a jerk to Andy (I love the way he tries not to look at her when she's changing but like, just can't help himself) and then goes and fucks her girlfriend's brother, which, okay, I get it, you need some P in the V and also maybe he will give you weed, but I am pretty sure that people from prison actually check on if you have a real job because they can do that these days, you know, the real world isn't all beepers and Russian cunnilingus.
Doug's story is going somewhere, but this week the entire joke was an orange chenille jacket and that is boring. Also, it seems as if this might have something to do with softball in the future, which, unless there are lesbians involved.............SNORE. So we'll see, Doug usually pulls it together, I have hope.
Shane blah blah blah college blah blah loan scam blah. More laying of the future groundwork, I'm guessing.
Actually most of this episode was laying groundwork. And I'm sorry, but I can't suspend my disbelief enough to believe that nobody has ever intervened in that stupid art project. Yes, people are apathetic, but people also don't watch other people almost die. So, I hate her, and Silas was totally right to storm off.
Which leads us to the inevitable Silas/Nancy reunion. She's up to her old tricks, hiding weed in her house (does anyone who works on Weeds know anything at all about drugs? You cannot fit a pound of weed inside a tiny boombox, unless maybe it is super-duper vacuum packed, which that was not) and being a dick. I don't know if we're supposed to feel sorry for Nancy, being bossed around by her son, but like he pretty much said, she is responsible for the person he's become, and he's had to make the best of that. Like I was saying earlier, I really don't understand why she wants another kid to totally fuck up, but then I'm not a parent, so who knows, parents can be nuts.
I'm still waiting for my Celia/Isabelle update. And more, much much more Andy!
Notes & Quotes
"I'm gonna try gluing it back myself, maybe with a little rubber cement"
"We are well below our Icelandic quota"
Nancy's cum-covered sex pants are actually Silas's and that is disgusting.
Image via Small Screen Scoop
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