"Bored!"

30 Rock, you have been surpassed.

I honestly can't understand why anyone at NBC would air that travesty of a flashback episode after the brilliant skewering of the concept that Community did earlier in the night. It was a painful 42 minutes to slog through, and more than once I glanced at the clock to see how much time was left. That's not to say that there weren't some bright spots, but for the most part it fell very, very flat.

Fat Southern Boss is threatening to cancel TGS (which 30 Rock pretty much admits is a terrible fictional show - and, I would argue, even worse than Studio 60) and then there is something with Michael Keaton (WTF? Why? I don't care. Go away, Michael Keaton.) and a gas leak and so people start hallucinating and occasionally there are flashbacks and then those stop for a while and return and in between people are hallucinating because that's what gas does to you, I guess? I know this is a call-back to an earlier episode, there were tons of them here, and none of them particularly successful.

And I suppose the main point of the episode, in between Tracy's credibility issue and Jenna's weird pregnancy whatever, was Liz and Jack wishing that they had never met or some such plotless nonsense. It was really just an excuse to fill time, bring back Dennis, and get Alec Baldwin to be four ridiculous Alec Baldwins. But since I did not buy any of the premises of the show whatsoever, I didn't care about the outcome. And other than a few giggles along the way, it felt like work to watch, and that is never a good thing. Certainly not up to their best (even the flashback scenes they chose were kind of mediocre), but 30 Rock has definitely had an uneven 5th season. However, if you compare the number of quotes from this episode to the multitude from "Bird Internet", the stark discrepancy becomes clear. While other people may mourn the impending end of this show, I celebrate it, because if it goes on for much longer it may just become irredeemably bad.

ALSO, that ending speech of Baldwin's about how no one respects television actors: boo fucking hoo, a-hole. That is the same attitude that put The Fucking Paul Reiser Show on the air. You have a bajillion freaking dollars and opportunities I can only dream of, so don't come bitching to me when your rich white a-hole actor friends laugh at you at the fucking Vanity Fair Oscar Party. CRY ME A GODDAMN RIVER, TIMBERLAKE; you don't get to whine about being an outsider when you are playing a role that has won you multiple awards. OR ARE A FAMOUS AND RICH AND SUCCESSFUL ACTOR. Also, everyone knows that there are plenty of ex-movie stars who are part of the quality resurgence of television; you should be glad you're not Gary Sinise. Just shut the fuck up RIGHT NOW and maybe us poor, struggling liberals won't have to beat you up for making us all seem like whiny twats.

The Saddest Notes & Quotes section ever:

"What if we had a child that was prettier than us? We'd have to leave it in the desert."

"That's a giraffe's name!"

For an episode that managed to give some moments to everyone (even the departed Josh), there was a huge Grizz-and-Dotcom sized hole that they didn't even come close to filling.

***

I'm disappointed, y'all.