"Bored!"

30 Rock, you have been surpassed.

I honestly can't understand why anyone at NBC would air that travesty of a flashback episode after the brilliant skewering of the concept that Community did earlier in the night. It was a painful 42 minutes to slog through, and more than once I glanced at the clock to see how much time was left. That's not to say that there weren't some bright spots, but for the most part it fell very, very flat.

Fat Southern Boss is threatening to cancel TGS (which 30 Rock pretty much admits is a terrible fictional show - and, I would argue, even worse than Studio 60) and then there is something with Michael Keaton (WTF? Why? I don't care. Go away, Michael Keaton.) and a gas leak and so people start hallucinating and occasionally there are flashbacks and then those stop for a while and return and in between people are hallucinating because that's what gas does to you, I guess? I know this is a call-back to an earlier episode, there were tons of them here, and none of them particularly successful.

And I suppose the main point of the episode, in between Tracy's credibility issue and Jenna's weird pregnancy whatever, was Liz and Jack wishing that they had never met or some such plotless nonsense. It was really just an excuse to fill time, bring back Dennis, and get Alec Baldwin to be four ridiculous Alec Baldwins. But since I did not buy any of the premises of the show whatsoever, I didn't care about the outcome. And other than a few giggles along the way, it felt like work to watch, and that is never a good thing. Certainly not up to their best (even the flashback scenes they chose were kind of mediocre), but 30 Rock has definitely had an uneven 5th season. However, if you compare the number of quotes from this episode to the multitude from "Bird Internet", the stark discrepancy becomes clear. While other people may mourn the impending end of this show, I celebrate it, because if it goes on for much longer it may just become irredeemably bad.

ALSO, that ending speech of Baldwin's about how no one respects television actors: boo fucking hoo, a-hole. That is the same attitude that put The Fucking Paul Reiser Show on the air. You have a bajillion freaking dollars and opportunities I can only dream of, so don't come bitching to me when your rich white a-hole actor friends laugh at you at the fucking Vanity Fair Oscar Party. CRY ME A GODDAMN RIVER, TIMBERLAKE; you don't get to whine about being an outsider when you are playing a role that has won you multiple awards. OR ARE A FAMOUS AND RICH AND SUCCESSFUL ACTOR. Also, everyone knows that there are plenty of ex-movie stars who are part of the quality resurgence of television; you should be glad you're not Gary Sinise. Just shut the fuck up RIGHT NOW and maybe us poor, struggling liberals won't have to beat you up for making us all seem like whiny twats.

The Saddest Notes & Quotes section ever:

"What if we had a child that was prettier than us? We'd have to leave it in the desert."

"That's a giraffe's name!"

For an episode that managed to give some moments to everyone (even the departed Josh), there was a huge Grizz-and-Dotcom sized hole that they didn't even come close to filling.

***

I'm disappointed, y'all.

And now please welcome once again to the stage...The Primetime Emmys!

It's time, kids. It's time to talk about the Emmys.

Now, I don't have a problem with the Emmys themselves, per se. Of course it makes sense for the medium of television to have its own awards show. The problem is that I don't think anyone really thought it through enough to realize that awards for television might need to be structured a little differently than those for movies or music.

Because what ends up happening is this: An actor lands a role on a show. The actor is nominated by Emmy (or Golden Globe, they have the same problem) voters. The actor wins an Emmy. And then next year, when that actor is nominated for playing the exact same role and wins again, no one says boo. I'm sorry, but even stellar actors like Alec Baldwin get stuck in this trope. No doubt that he's brilliant on 30 Rock, but there is so much good work being done on TV these days and this awards show-rut continuously rewards the same people. Like effing Tony Shaloub. Did anyone know that Monk was even still on the air? Tony Shaloub and Monk are like, the U2 of television: you don't know anyone who really likes them, yet they continue to be rewarded by their own industry (seriously, Rolling Stone: no one cares about U2. stop sucking Bono's dick and give me some more Matt Taibi and Rob Sheffield, because that's all I read anymore). Anyway, my point is that I really feel like there needs to be a rule where an actor can only win once for a particular role. I don't think it applies to the shows themselves; a show can be very different from season to season. But especially in comedies...god, I was so angry when that awful old man from Everybody Loves Raymond won over and over again, even after he died. Well, I was pretty angry when anything from ELR won at all, but that's just because I have good taste.

Seriously, though. Alec, Tina, Jon Hamm...I love you guys. You're amazing actors and you deserve the Emmys you already have. But I also love NPH and Jorge Garcia and Rainn Wilson and Jane Lynch and Zach Galifianakis and Nathan Fillion and Justin Kirk...just to name a few. And I think they deserve some recognition for the incredible work they do.