In 2011, The Emmys Happened.

For the 63rd time. Here is what came from that happening (and my Twitter feed and YouTube):

- I liked the opening. Jane Lynch is the best. Ron Swanson is The Best. Mad Men is awesome (omg I just remembered I have some great Jon Hamm gossip but that I should not put it on the Internets because that could get the person who blessed my life with this totally adorable and enviable gossip FIRED and then I would feel like the worst because I would totally actually be The Worst. So: if you know me, then ask me about it. But only if you promise not to post it in your blog.). The Big Bang Theory poked fun at their laugh track, but it wasn't enough to make me forget how terrible laugh tracks are and how much better their show would be without one. The Sue Sylvester split-screen was awkward all around. But it ended on a good note, and made me wish I could have watched more of her on-stage banter.

"You just got Zized"

Ok, Glee. W. T. F?

Last night I watched Glee with two of my friends. There was me, the jaded critic; Alia, the long-time fan; and Kristen, someone who had only watched a few recent episodes. Three people with three very different perspectives with one thing in common when it comes to Glee: we all really want to like the show. I was especially glad to have the two of them around, then, when "Sexy" started going off the rails and they could assure me it wasn't just me who thought this was the worst, poorly organized, most perplexing episode of the entire series.

Glee has been facing criticism for character consistency since the second season began. The show's writers have responded by removing any lingering ounce of character consistency and instead focusing on picking truly terrible songs to compliment the spectacularly awful and empty plots we have to plod through each week. Some critics have given up yelling into the void and are now defending the lack of consistency, saying, "That's just how Glee is!" But I refuse to give up. I will yell into the void for as long as I have lungs and people continue to stand by this crap. Why? Because I remember what 3/4 of the first season was like. It was inspiring. Uplifting. Joyful. It was not afraid to be uncool, or silly, or flamboyant. It presented an incredibly wide range of music in interesting and beautifully-sung ways. Now the show seems to exist solely to sell iTunes singles. The writers and producers are unconcerned with plot or pure musicality or character development or, well, quality, because they are making a bajillion dollars. And guess what? It shows.

I'm going to try to summarize with bullet points because there is too much to go over and none of it is presented linearly. I haven't read any other bloggers' thoughts about "Sexy", but I don't see how there's any way they can't agree that this is where Glee went off the rails and belly-flopped over that shark.

Griping About Glee

I just read this over at The A.V. Club and while I don't agree with everything it says, I think the comparisons between Community and Glee raise some really interesting points, mostly on the Glee side.

Let's face it: Glee has become the Justin Bieber of television, long before they made the tragic mistake of doing an actual Justin Bieber episode. What this means is they know they have the ratings, so they've just been doing whatever they can to appeal to their fan base, incorrectly assuming that their fan base is all gay men and teenage girls. What they've lost among their plebian popularity is actual awesomeness and style. More and more each song every week is close enough to the original to be the original (see "Tik Tok" in this week's episode for just one of many, many examples). I'm not sure why this is - I know I'm much more inclined to buy a song if it doesn't sound like the version I already have, or if there's enough of a character's emotion invested in it to make it meaningful. My favorite song from this season is hands-down Kurt and Rachel's rendition of "Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" because it fulfills both of those criteria. The problem is that Glee is pandering to the lowest common denominator, and when the LCD is 8th graders, quality suffers.

The other real problem that finally became clear for me this week is the unevenness of every episode. "Blame It On The Alcohol" has some parts that I loved (all of the party scene; Schue and Bieste at the bar where I really wanted him to sing "Honky Tonk Women") and some parts I thought were irredeemably awful and offensive. With such glaring inconsistencies it's difficult to judge even just one episode on its own. Critics loved the Valentine's episode, whereas I thought it was weak with some bright spots (namely Santana) and that the whole thing was ruined by stupid Blaine and his terrible rendition of "Silly Love Songs". Random side-note: wouldn't it be funny if they were to do a Moulin Rouge episode with covers of covers? I mean, it'd be hella meta, but could be done well if they really tried.

Speaking of Blaine, let's go back to "Blame It On The Alcohol" and the blatant biphobia therein. To sum up: Blaine and Rachel drunkenly kiss during spin the bottle, and there's a spark there for both of them. They sing a Human League song and I think, "Hmm, maybe I don't hate Blaine after all!" Kurt is depressed and horrified, even more so when Rachel asks Blaine out and he says yes. Blaine admits that he's still questioning and figuring himself out and that it's possible he could be bi. Kurt flippantly says something so offensive I'm reluctant to put it here: "Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel normal." After that I was ready to head over to Twitter, all up in arms about it, but Blaine's response of telling Kurt that he shouldn't judge him for being who he is was a good one. However, Kurt's characterization of being bi equating a return to the closet was one that I think a lot of gay guys fall back on - that to be bi is to abandon your identity for one that is somehow safer or more normal.

Shirley Brings It

Ok, I take back anything negative I ever said about Yvette Nicole Brown. She is clearly totally awesome, and I love where the Shirley storyline is heading.

This clip over at Gawker TV is totally worth watching:

http://tv.gawker.com/5743995/yvette-nicole-brown-talks-about-her-size-i-eat-for-america

And now I wish it was Thursday.

Damn The Man - Save Huge!

So...Huge has ended. For now. And because ABC Family only ordered a measly 10 episodes, we're left in the middle of camp when all the drama and relationships are finally coming to a head! Bastards. Now we get to the problem with ABC Family: namely, conservatism.

This is not to say that conservatives hate fat people. I'm sure, no, I know many are fat themselves. It's just that the network seems far more willing to support the psuedo-propaganda and terrible acting and even worse writing of The Secret Life of the American Teenager (hint: the secret is S-E-X) than a show that has a nuanced and realistic look at the actual lives of actual fat teenagers. A show that has a character who is proud and comfortable with his fluid sexuality and gender presentation. A show that has a character whose parents pretty much represent the people in society who believe that all fat people need to be happy/successful/worthwhile is to lose weight. A show that has numerous characters who used to be fat and are still trying to learn to love themselves. A show that calls characters out for disordered eating disguised as diet tricks.

And so I'm worried. I'm worried that the execs at a company that apparently gets to determine what "family values" are are going to watch the show and say, you know, this isn't what we want our kids watching. We don't want them getting any ideas about pride and self-expression and hooking up with your camp counselor. We don't want them knowing how complicated life can actually be.

Not to mention that there is always going to be someone saying that no one wants to see fat people on TV...which is completely ridiculous, given that we live in a fat country. Face it - we are fat. We are so fat that the city I live in had to pass rules stating what kinds of snacks we can let kids eat at school. We are so fat they had to ban Fruit by the Foot and make kids start eating actual fruit. I think it's kind of ridiculous, and that there are ways to teach kids how to be healthy without forbidding certain things (because when food is forbidden it automatically becomes more desired - at least I know that's one of the things that led to my own weight issues)....just like there are ways to let teenagers know it's ok to be fat and value your own health simultaneously.

I think really I'm afraid for the future of Huge because in many ways Hollywood gives little value to originality or relatability and instead cares entirely about money (surprising, I know). When there's a show that doesn't fit in to the way they think they should be making money, they cancel it, or market it so poorly that they are able to find an excuse to cancel it (a la Arrested Development, The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brian, Pushing Daisies, etc). And I love Huge so much that I am just waiting for the cancellation shoe to drop - because I know the studio execs are itching for an excuse to destroy the best thing to show up on teen-oriented television in forever. I guess it's not just about ABC Family - I simply have no trust in Hollywood in general to keep the good things on my screen.

So go send them some feedback or simply "like" Huge on Facebook. Little efforts like that can make a big difference in these digital times, when a visible and vocal audience can actually have an impact. I already lost Party Down this summer, I'm not sure I could stand it if I lost these characters too.

And for pity's sake, if you're not watching, go do it now. The most recent seven episodes are on Hulu, or you can always go find links on Sidereel and start from the beginning.

BTW, if you'd like the link for the picture up top I'll give it to you, but I got it from a CNN Health article on childhood obesity that I'd really rather not link to. So, I'm not trying to steal this image, but fuck you CNN and your fatist bullshit.

More seconds, please!

Let's Talk About Huge

I am always looking for new shows to watch, especially in the summer (although, i have to say, what with Mad Men and Persons Unknown and Psych and Entourage and Royal Pains and Weeds coming up pretty soon, things haven't been too bad.). And this is the summer I fell in love with Huge.

The premise of Huge is: fat teenagers at fat camp. And at first I was a little apprehensive, but then I learned that it's created by the woman who did My So-Called Life and her daughter, so - ABC Family indeed (Huge airs at 9pm Mondays on that channel). Then I watched the pilot episode, and was blown away.

Like with many ensemble shows, There is a theoretical main character (TMC), but I've found that in many of these cases (How I Met Your Mother, Party Down, Community) the focus quickly equals out and the primary and secondary characters reach equal footing. Huge is like that. Ian (the Isaac lookalike played by Ari Stidham) is everything I could ask for in an awkward, shy, painfully un-confident leading man. Chloe (Ashley Holliday) is like any number of girls I know - and the relationship between Chloe and Amber is all-too-familiar for me. Alastair (Harvey Guillen) is so endearing it makes my insides crumple. Becca (Raven Goodwin) is quietly fierce. Trent (Stefan Van Ray) is hot and broken. Piznarski (which, excuse me, was Piz from VMars' name first) (Jacob Wysocki) is like any number of boys I know, using humor as a shield. And the two TMCs fit into this ensemble perfectly, leaving enough space for everyone to shine.

The first TMC is a girl named Will, played by Nikki Blonsky from the Hairspray remake I refused to see, and she is fat and angry and she's not gonna take it anymore. She's been shipped off to fat camp by her terrible-sounding absentee parents, but here's the kicker: she loves her body and doesn't want to lose weight. Which is awesome - but it doesn't mean that she doesn't have her own insecurities, or that her militant fat pride doesn't have negative consequences for herself and others. Also, she has blue streaks in her hair (that are clearly not clip-ons like Tina's on Glee) which let us know that she hates the system.

The second TMC is Amber, a blonde girl who could be described as curvy or chubby with a pretty bad case of societal pressure-induced body dysmorphic disorder. Amber is played by Hayley Hasselhoff, David's daughter, and all I could think when I realized that a few minutes ago is damn, that girl has already been through some shit. How many times has she had to call 911 for her dad? Too fucking many. Anyway, Amber is the skinniest one at camp, which makes her popular, hated, and envied. The boys all vie for her, but Amber is crushing hard on George, the cute teenage athletic leader, who clearly likes her back although she can't see it through all her self-loathing. In another scene a few episodes in, Amber runs into a group of kids from the neighboring tennis camp, and is able to pass for one of them.

The intersection of these two characters has brought up some very personal stuff for me, because I've been both of them. I have loved and been proud of my fat; I have hated my body and felt inferior to skinny girls. I have been the outspoken teenager who wants to believe her body is sexy but needs external validation, and I know what it's like to pass, and the surprise and relief that comes when you realize that people can think your body is normal and maybe even desirable.

I have also gone to camp. full disclosure: I love shows about camp. Camp (i went to Camp Celo, a very unique farm/hiking camp in the Black Mountains of North Carolina) was a huge part of my formative years, both as a camper and then as an assistant counselor during high school. I don't know if anyone remembers Bug Juice ("Bug juice, it doesn't come in a jar! Bug juice comes from who you are!" Anyone???), which was possibly the first reality show aimed at kids; it followed a group of pre-teens at a real camp, and I think it was on the Disney Channel. Anyway, I was obsessed. I also loved Salute Your Shorts, Camp Nowhere, Happy Campers (a movie that a guy I actually worked at camp with was in), Camp, The Parent Trap, Addams Family Values...I could go on. There is something about the concentrated relationships that occur when you're in a very intimate situation for a limited period of time that make for compelling stories and rich character studies. Plus, camp is just the best.

I was also a fat girl at camp - that's me on the right at age 16. I've always been the kind of fat that's in between being normal and being f-a-t fat, and eventually it got balanced out by my big boobs. I've got confidence, but like the kids on Huge, I was always afraid that to a guy, a skinny girl would be preferable to my curves. And sometimes she was, and that hurt, but I eventually found that there was always someone who wanted me, and that the douchebags who didn't weren't worth my time anyhow. Camp actually helped me learn to love my body, what with skinny dipping with guys & girls of all shapes & sizes and shirtless sessions and strip poker and inner tubing and playing "Jump, Shake Your Booty" in the rain and trading hookup partners like crazy. And sometimes - and by sometimes, I mean always - it was hard to go back to the real world, where everyone doesn't understand, accept, and love everyone else for who they are.

I miss camp.

So, after the first episode I basically fell head over heels for Huge. This is a show that speaks to me in a very strong way and, as i've found browsing the internet, has touched a lot of people. However, just by reading the YouTube comments on the preview shows how much fat phobia not only exists but is in many cases excused by society. Especially when it comes to hating on fat women. You know that scene in Juno when Steve Rendazzo makes fun of her and she talks about how it's because all jocks secretly want weird goth librarians? I think that's really at the heart of fat women phobia: because people have been conditioned to believe fat people aren't attractive, when they're attracted to them they feel ashamed. They blame that shame on the fat people for being attractive and socially subversive. Makes sense to me.

So I commend Huge for giving a pretty accurate portrayal of what it's like to be fat and confident; fat and self-loathing; fat and socially awkward; fat and athletic; fat and pretty; fat and poor; fat and weird; fat and sensitive....all in a world that celebrates thinness and is constantly telling fat people that there is something wrong with them and they need to change - in a location that basically tells them that to not lose weight equals failure. I also think Huge's characterizations of the complex camp director, Dr. Dorothy Rand (Gina Torres) and the Janice Dickenson-meets-Tracy Anderson athletic director (Tia Texada) provide accurate portrayals of the relationship that us fatties often have with the people (who may or may not care about them) who are trying to get them healthy (or skinny - they are not the same thing).

I think a lot of people won't watch this show because they believe that it's only for fat people. but it's far, far, more than that - it's about how difficult relationships, self-control, and honesty can be, at any size. it's about learning about who you really are so other people can't take it away if they try to bring you down. I think, in essence, it's about learning to be happy in a world where so much is out of our control. Plus, it's pretty fucking funny and completely entertaining.

So...ABC Family, who knew? Not what I would have expected. But seriously, go watch it - give it a chance and I know you'll love it...and I want to know my all-time favorite camp show is gonna be around next summer!