Um, WTF?

So last week, after being pretty proud of the piece I wrote in response to the Golden Globes about comedy awards, I submitted it to The Hairpin. Unlike Jezebel in its heydey (pre-2010), I don't like or read everything that's on the site, but a fair amount of it is pretty great and funny (especially The League Of Ordinary Ladies), and I think my voice could fit in well. Now, I didn't receive any sort of personalized response from them (just a boilerplate "we'll read your stuff and get back to you") and, while it would have been nice to at least hear SOMETHING, I wasn't really expecting for them to publish it because as a writer, you should never, ever expect that. Then last night, as I was catching up on my Hairpin reading, I saw this (posted on the 17th by Jane Marie):

Some people are mad at you because you're not really a comedic actress or something, and okay. But on to the real issue: YOU ARE THE BEST ON ENLIGHTENED and now it is official and not just a rule in my house. Amy, the character you play, is a living nightmare. I said it! Like, you really just want to duct tape her all up. Don't you leave that chair, Amy. And shut up! Don't say what you are about to... I KICK AT MY TELEVISION AND LOOSE A SQUEAL OF RAGE. For a mundane but infuriating example: don't tell your mom all about how you went over to your druggie ex-husband's house in the middle of the night and then get MAD at her, like literally throw a witchy tantrum because you are being personally violated, when she goes "Why?"

My skin crawls at you, Amy. It feels so good. You win, Laura. Incredible. Everyone go watch the whole thing and then let's all send Mike White care packages to keep him happy while he writes us another season.

And I am instantly frustrated. Because the point of my whole post (that the writer somehow both emphasizes and undermines) is that if Laura Dern is so great (and she is, I'm definitely not disputing that), then she should win a dramatic award for her (very obviously) DRAMATIC acting. Arguing that she should win a comedic award simply because she is good just continues this tradition of disrespecting comedy and misunderstanding female comedians.

Let me be very clear: I really love Enlightened, and I've been a Mike White fan since he was a writer on Dawson's Creek. But it is absolutely not a comedy. If the dramatic awards go to dramas, and the comedic awards go to dramas, where does that leave comedy? I continue to be irritated, and not only because Jane Marie flippantly dismissed the well-supported premise of my entire piece with the argument of "But I like her!". This has got to change somehow, and it's not going to unless enough people make some noise. But The Hairpin's noise is, in this case, just another part of the problem.

Boo, sadface. I will console myself with tonight's episode of Parks & Rec.

Dramedy Awards?

I know, it's been FOREVER. And it's not even that I've been doing anything (though I kind of have), but there just hasn't been too much to write about. And now! There's SO MUCH! So let's get to it.

Reading over the Golden Globe winners from last night, I've finally realized why I get crazy annoyed when actors from drama-driven, possibly-slightly-humorous shows win comedy awards. It's not just that these shows shouldn't be considered "comedies" since their main goal isn't humor - I fully think shows like Nurse Jackie, The Big C, Breaking Bad, and Enlightened should be considered dramas, regardless of their running time. And then, sure, if those actors stand up to the actors in the drama category (and they will, since they are all highly regarded actors and those shows are all great), then give them all of those awards. But to give an award for comedic acting to, say, Laura Dern for her role as Amy Jellicoe in Enlightened where she is many, many things - cruel, crazy, introspective, pained, blithe, and lazy being just a few - but is not and is not meant to be particularly funny...that straight-up devalues the art of comedy.

The Season Of Anger, Boredom, And Hideous Gowns

Well, I was going to write about Downton Abbey, which I watched last weekend and it is fabulous; you should all check it out. Anyone who loved Gosford Park will enjoy this show, it's created by the guy who wrote that movie, Julian Fellowes, and takes place around approximately the same time. Superb acting by everyone involved including, yes, Dame Maggie Smith. But since everyone and their mom is talking about it now (and honestly, Pop Culture Happy Hour is starting to get supremely on my nerves because I care not for comic books, musicals, The Bachelor, or the pretentious way they dismiss Seth Rogen), I want to talk a little about awards season.

Tonight is the Golden Globes, and while I would watch if I could (the Golden Globes being one of the more fun awards show; they should just call it Drunk Celebrities Say They Damndest Things), I do not currently have a TV. So I'll have to check out highlights online tomorrow, which is totally fine with me.

I started watching awards shows when I was 12 and Titanic won everything (except an Oscar for my love, Leo) and I haven't really stopped since. However, my interest has dropped off steeply in the past couple years as movies have taken a turn for the worse. How on earth anybody could believe that No Country For Old Men, possibly the most boring and ultimately pointless movie I've ever seen, deserves a Best Picture award is far, far beyond me. You may think, Hey, but I liked that movie! No, you didn't. You were just told that you should. But even beyond that, I just find myself having little to no interest in seeing most of the movies. And I love movies! I love movies that are beautiful and that make me laugh and that are poignant and artfully written - and they don't even have to do all three at once. But those movies are never the ones that win, unless they're Return Of The King. Seriously, Scott Pilgrim was probably the best movie of last year, but good luck competing against Toy Story 3 ("Let's turn a fun romp into something incredibly dark and irredeemably threatening!") or True Grit (surprise, surprise, the Coen brothers make a western with a single strong female character - and it's a remake) or Black Swan, which I still haven't seen because I don't care about (a) scary ballerinas or (b) Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis making out because (c) Natalie Portman gets on my nerves like nobody's business, and she wears boring dresses. See, the lack of nominated movies that I want to see makes me care only about the clothes (I fully admit that I am a red carpet addict - but finding the right host is key; I dig Ryan Seacrest, but Giulana Rancic makes me want to jump into my TV and bludgeon her about her fat-hating self with a crystal clutch). I mean, a horribly sexist and mostly inaccurate movie about FUCKING FACEBOOK of all things will probably win best picture. This is a time to not care about movies and instead loudly judge the work of crappy stylists.

But that's one of the things that is so great about the Golden Globes! I mean, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are a bunch of crack smokers that will get things totally right one minute and then completely wrong the next, but at least there's some recognition for awesome television, which has almost entirely surpassed film in terms of quality, that isn't from the fucking Emmys. And its fun to see all the television actors and movie actors in one place, which doesn't really happen otherwise. Plus, for the second year, the Golden Globes will be hosted by Ricky Gervais, who, as we all know, doesn't hold back on being either straightforwardly biting or funny. And since the Oscars will be hosted for some unimaginable reason by Anne fucking Hathaway, the GGs really should be awesome. Mad Men FTW all the way!

To prepare yourself for this most nonsensical of seasons, you might want to go watch For Your Consideration, the movie Christopher Guest made a few years ago about what can happen to actors with a little Oscar buzz. It was, for no good reason, almost completely ignored by critics, probably for a similar reason as the neglect of I'm Still Here - it completely took to task the Hollywood machine and the culture that celebrates talent but abhors flaws of any sort. Yes, Catherine O'Hara actually did that to her face, and although it was all temporary, shows some serious commitment to her art - not only to acting, but also satire. That link will take you to Netflix; they put it on instant streaming just in time for awards season.

So, there might be some bitching around these parts about who won what and who was completely overlooked, but when it comes to movies I don't particularly care anymore. Hollywood needs to change things up and recognize the unexpectedly deserving instead of continuing the sad, dull circle-jerk they've got going on.

Image via Allie Is Wired