Never Forget

This is what happens when you are too young to remember the 80s:

This is from Nylon's Young Hollywood Issue Celebration Whatever event last night. This person's name is JoJo (yes, two capitals, no last name) and I think it's safe to say that she was a mere thought of a fetus at the time when the rest of our moms were dressing us in jeans and shorts and jackets and dresses made from this most abhorrent of denim. Nancy Reagan taught us all to JUST SAY NO to stonewashing, remember? Or are you too young for that reference, too?

Suffice to say no one should ever wear this dress, ever. And no one ever would if they'd just do a little research before getting dressed for a press event.

History is important, kids. Stay in school. Don't do acid-wash.

Image via TLo

"I know you guys love some A. Wang!"

I don't usually write about reality TV. The truth is I don't watch that much of it (Top Chef, RuPaul's Drag Race, ANTM, The Fashion Show) on a regular basis - I like the competitive shows way more than faux-life shows like The Real Housewives. Those shows would be much more interesting to watch if I could actually hear most of what they're saying, but all the most interesting, crucial parts get bleeped and that is just boring. But really, if I was going to write about anything right now, it should probably be RPDR, the best reality show of all time. But I'd like to save my gushing over amazing, fabulous drag queens (and Sutan, whose Tyra impersonation looked a whole lot like the above picture) for once we get closer to the Drag Race finale.

Now, normally I leave all ANTM blogging to Rich at fourfour. But I just found out (literally, just now when I went there to get the link) that he is not doing his famed recaps anymore. I am heartbroken. It's almost the entire reason I read his blog at all, I mean...I like some of his other posts but when he gets into music reviewing I'm just like zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. And the gifs! Oh, how the gifs will be missed. But really I think that someone needs to call Tyra on her megalomanaical shit, so, for at least this first episode, that's what I'm gonna do.

From the beginning, Tyra is clear that the theme of this season is making girls cry. Not that that hasn't been the theme of every season, but this year it's explicit - because the fashion industry is mean, panel is allowed to be as cruel and hope-crushing as possible. This starts at casting, where the 14 finalists are tricked into thinking that they've been eliminated. I could see how that would suck until they find out they're in the house, but HOW MUCH WORSE is it for the girls who were told that they were continuing and allowed themselves to be happy about it and then walked of with the Jays and were told it was all a trick and Tyra didn't love them? So much worse. Everything on this show is about Tyra, in case you've forgotten in the few months since Ann won.

Speaking of Ann, how tragic is it that we have to look at that god-awful Cover Girl photo of hers every week? I'm still pissed they didn't give it to Kayla.

This Is One Fucked-Up Mundo We Live In, Mondo

I was going to write a post about the BEYOND INFURIATING Project Runway finale outcome, but in all honesty, I haven't actually watched it. I had an inkling that Mondo might not win, and I didn't feel like ruining a perfectly good night by yelling at my screen.

Turns out my instincts are right. I know that editing was supposed to make it easy to hate Gretchen, but I can hate everything about her all on my own. I hate her when she's being nice. I hate her when she's being an asshole. I despise her fucking it's-cool-because-it's-ugly haircut. I think her clothes belong in a garbage bag that is dipped in shit and then set on fire.

It makes me legitimately sad that she won with her sad, barfy, psuedocoolugly clothes.

The comments section over at TLo is ablaze, but this one, from an anonymous commenter, is the best at saying what I feel: