Why We Should All Be Effing Pissed About Dan Harmon Being Fired

In case you missed it, since The Man did everything they could to make sure you would miss it, Dan Harmon was fired as showrunner of Community on Friday.  I highly recommend you go read about it in his own words because, like so much else that he does, it's funny and poignantly sad.

Done?  Okay, so here's why this sucks:  they figured out a way to cut the creative balls off of Community without killing it outright.  Look, clearly they've been gunning for Community for a long time.  Business men don't like shows that are smart because they might have to put some actual work into properly marketing them.  But when they tried to quietly kill it back in December, the Internet exploded.  Fans went crazy.  The comment thread at The AV Club's post for "Regional Holiday Music" exceeded 30,000 posts.  Community won not only Splitsider's tournament for The Best Sitcom Episode Ever, but also Hulu's Best In Show competition.  While I'm sure that the people in charge would have loved for Community to die a quiet death after airing the back ten episodes, that obviously wasn't going to happen.

Then two unfortunate things occurred.  Well, one occurred a year ago when Harmon's contract was only renewed for one instead of the usual two seasons.  The second was the Chevy Chase debacle.  Who knows how much effect Chevy's dickishness and Harmon's poor handling of the situation had on THIS situation, but you can bet it didn't help anything.  If nothing else, it provides enough reasonable doubt so bloggers like me will speculate on it since no one, not even Dan Harmon, really know all the reasons he was let go.  But I think that mishandled event is more of an excuse than an impetus for this disaster.

Taking Dan Harmon off of Community is like slaughtering Khal Drogo's horse.  It's like Peeta after the tracker jacker torture or McMurphy post-lobotomy.  They cut out the part that fights for what is good and right in this world.  They cut out the originality and the creativity and the magnificent, not-a-fuck-giving mind that created this show that speaks so wholeheartedly to my generation.  And look, it's not like Community is going to be bad; I have faith that as long as Megan Ganz is in the writing room, things will be alright.  It's not like the remarkably talented cast is going anywhere.  But it will not be the same groundbreaking, inspiring show it has been.  And that's because neither NBC nor Sony has ever shown much of an interest in supporting or marketing the show, but they also didn't want to anger all the millions of fans by cancelling it, so they first moved it to goddamn Fridays after goddamn Whitney (while The Office keeps its lazy, decomposing ass parked at 9 pm Thursdays) and then sneakily went in, cut off the head, legs, and balls, sent a press release to TV Guide at 7 pm on a Friday, and hoped no one would notice.  Well, guess what?  Notice taken, assholes.

So, other than the idiots who run television taking a big ol' dump on the fans and viewers that support them, why should we be pissed about this?  Because Dan Harmon is a champion for a new kind of television.  From its pilot episode, Community has celebrated diversity, not just in terms of race and gender and age and sexuality, but in terms of personality.  Harmon, like Matthew Weiner, personally fought for more women in the writing room, and as a result developed some of the most interesting, well-rounded, and hilarious female characters on television.  Community is all about diverse people coming together and forming a - what's it called? Oh, right, a community.  Is there another sitcom on television that features so many actors of color?  Nope.  Is there another sitcom that presents a queer character who likes to cross-dress in such a loving, non-judgmental light while still celebrating his inherent humor?  Sadly, no.  No other show has the temerity to take on a character like Fat Neil with such studied compassion, or to use an elderly character like Leonard to such a consistently brilliant degree.  Community has covered religion, lesbians, poor people, racist gardeners, racist parents, homophobic parents, plain shitty parents, racist grandparents, weight issues, bullying, class issues...and NONE of it has been preachy or saccharine.  Community has dealt in human emotions and chose to focus on what unites us instead of what divides us.  It has presented different kinds of people as PEOPLE, not as stereotypes.

I saw all this as the future of television.  But it seems like the people in charge don't see it that way at all.  Watching the upfront trailers, my stomach dropped lower and lower as white face after white face flashed on my screen (notable exception being The Mindy Project, which looks great and I can't believe NBC didn't pick it up except I can because they're obviously frittataed).  Network television looks whiter than it did in the 90s.  And Ryan Murphy gets to continue perpetuating his favorite stereotype that the only gays that matter are young white males.  What I wouldn't give for a funny queer chick on TV....

So, yeah.  I'm pissed, and sad, and currently trying to figure out what I need to do to get a job in television production so I can start changing things from within.  Dan Harmon has spent the last three years challenging our ideas of what television could and should be; he has given a voice to those who have for so long been voiceless; he created Troy and Abed, two of the best television characters of all time played by two of the very best comedic actors (not that the Emmys have noticed, because, you know, racism).  For me, he created a show that so clearly exemplified what I love about television that it helped me realize my passion and inspired me to work towards a career in the industry.  So I will stand with Dan Harmon in whatever he decides to do next (and it hopefully involves Chris McKenna, who left the show in solidarity with Dan), and we'll just have to wait and see what happens with Community next season.  Although the threat of cancellation has hung over the show all year, that thankfully allowed Harmon & Co. to pull out all the stops and fill this season with awesomeness.  Yesterday when I was mourning by rewatching most of season three, I kept thinking how appropriate the theme song is, and has been to this show.

"Gimme some more time in a dream

Gimme the hope to run out of steam

Somebody said it can be here

We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year"

Dream big, don't give up, fight for what's right, and write every show like you're about to get cancelled - THAT'S how you make great television.  The season finale wrapped up in what would have been a satisfying series ending, and we'll just have to hope that when Abed steps into his mini Dreamatorium, he's imagining an alternate, far happier timeline.

Thanks for everything, Dan.

Images via aspecialthing, videogum

Why It's Important To Keep Talking About Girls

One of the interesting (read: super depressing) things that has arisen over this whole Girls brouhaha is the backlash against the backlash.  Everyone was fine to talk about it for a week, but to keep talking about it was to "not be able to let things go".  But to not keep talking about it is, in my eyes, to ignore it, and like it or not, ignoring it is not the way to handle the issue.

I admit that my last post on the subject was a bit vitriolic, and my friend said, "It kind of sounded like you just hate the East Coast" which isn't the case at all.  There are many, many, things that I adore about the East Coast, but the tendency of people who live in New York City and produce work for the screen (or write, or blog, or photograph, or paint, or whatever) to be navel-gazingly obsessed with living in New York City and what that means is one of my least favorite things about pop culture in general and the East Coast in particular. I have lived in and spent a lot of time in different states up and down the East Coast and no matter what, my feelings about it always come back to Joni - "I wouldn't want to stay here; it's too old and cold and settled in its ways here".  In California, everyone is from somewhere else.  The importance of old money and history and who your family is and where you went to school fades here; we care about who you are now and where you're going and if your actions will help the world or the community.  Oh, we definitely trade in other weird issues (go watch some Portlandia for examples) and in certain circles all the dumb moneyed social crap still stands, but in my extensive experience, it's not as pervasively a part of the culture out west.

I see this idea of The Way Things Are Done not only in Girls, but in the backlashbacklash as well.  Famous people's children have always had an easier way of it, they say.  Why are you punishing Dunham for writing what she knows? the handwringers cry.  The types of people Hannah and her friends are probably DO only have white friends and it is ridiculous to expect otherwise, I'm told.  And my favorite, why aren't you as mad at any of the other all-white shows out there?  Why has Girls been forced to try to fulfill so many expectations?

Let's address these one by one.

The Community Conundrum

So, I've been watching Season 2 of Community for probably the fifth or sixth time, and it is still impossibly hard for me to understand just why this amazing show is not more successful. Oh, sure, you can point to the Dinner With Andre episode or the Hearts Of Darkness episode as examples of how esoteric the show can be, but for every episode like that, there are ten that are incredibly funny in a remarkably simple way. People constantly talk about how smart Community is, and they're right, but that's not the ONLY thing it is. It's not usually smart in the way that Arrested Development is smart - a sort of tricksy, dirty, pulling-one-over-on-the-censors kind of way (sometimes Community does do these kinds of jokes, and I love them, but that's not the point). Community's comedy is mostly just really funny, straight-up jokes. What differentiates it from other, non-mockumentary sitcoms like its timeslot competitor, The Big Bang Theory, is that Community's jokes are well-written. Awesomely-written, in fact. The writers and producers have a vision and a great deal of investment in their characters and they write incredible jokes for them. On top of that, Community has a stellar cast of comedians with some of the best improvisational skills, with Donald Glover leading the pack. Did you know "Set phasers to 'love me'" was an improv? He's stupendous. What makes people call Community "smart" is that they're simply not doing the same tired jokes that sitcoms have been doing for years. Once you scratch the surface, one Chuck Lorre sitcom is pretty much exactly the same as another - tired jokes about gender roles or fat people where glorified assholes are dicks to and then sleep with women much more attractive than they are. Throw in some thinly-veiled homophobia and you've got 83% of sitcoms on the air. Community's brand of comedy doesn't generally require the viewer to think or be knowledgeable about anything erudite or complicated - it just requires an openness to jokes that don't reinforce all the stupid, previously-constructed concept of what a sitcom is. Sitcoms don't have to all be "Men and women are so different! How will they ever get along in this crazy world? Also, don't get too close with that good friend of yours or people will think you're gay!" Community proves these shows can be silly, whimsical, creative, heartfelt, and, best of all, surprising, while still being continuously laugh-out-loud hilarious.

Dramedy Awards?

I know, it's been FOREVER. And it's not even that I've been doing anything (though I kind of have), but there just hasn't been too much to write about. And now! There's SO MUCH! So let's get to it.

Reading over the Golden Globe winners from last night, I've finally realized why I get crazy annoyed when actors from drama-driven, possibly-slightly-humorous shows win comedy awards. It's not just that these shows shouldn't be considered "comedies" since their main goal isn't humor - I fully think shows like Nurse Jackie, The Big C, Breaking Bad, and Enlightened should be considered dramas, regardless of their running time. And then, sure, if those actors stand up to the actors in the drama category (and they will, since they are all highly regarded actors and those shows are all great), then give them all of those awards. But to give an award for comedic acting to, say, Laura Dern for her role as Amy Jellicoe in Enlightened where she is many, many things - cruel, crazy, introspective, pained, blithe, and lazy being just a few - but is not and is not meant to be particularly funny...that straight-up devalues the art of comedy.

Larry Sanders, Late-Night, & The Greatness Of Rip Torn

I know everyone has been waiting with baited anticipation for my post on The Larry Sanders Show (haha, just kidding, I think I know like one other person who has even seen any of it), so here goes! Wait no longer, friend.

The Larry Sanders Show starred Garry Shandling as a late-night talk show host, and ran from 1992-1998 (yes, my Wikipedia bookmark works!). It covered the filming of the show but was mostly about backstage details and Larry's life. He has a sidekick, Hank, played to creepy D-list perfection by Jeffrey Tambor, and a producer/hetero life partner named Artie, played by the brilliant and inimitable Rip Torn. The celebrities that show up on Larry Sanders are too vast to mention, but the regular cast includes plenty of familiar faces (Janeane Garofolo, Jeremy Piven, Wallace Langham, Mary Lynn Rajskub). The Larry Sanders Show was also where a lot of big behind-the-scenes names built their resumes, including Judd Apatow and Steve Levitan. This is just to show you that in terms of comedy quality, this show isn't essing around.

Larry Sanders was the original Entourage. In fact, it's a lot like Entourage except without the homophobia and the boobs and the terribleness and the (mostly useless unless adorable counts as useful) Turtle. You've got Vince (Larry), E (Artie), and Drama (Hank). There's even a perfect asshole Ari-ish agent played by Bob Odenkirk. What I mean by this is that the show deals very heavily with the showbiz machine (and television and handling the networks in particular), what it's like being a celebrity and having relationships (be they work or friend or romantic, with regular people and with other celebrities), and with the immense amount of ego coddling that can go into being the person who does the least amount of work with the most amount of benefit. Entourage has covered all of these topics (substitute "network" for "movie studio"), but the problem with that show is that, even when it was good, it felt too much like an inside joke. Also, sometimes the entire plot hinges on "Will someone get some really special, expensive thing/vacation/pussy?" and that is boring and no, not aspirational. I would rather see a celebrity pretend to have been to rehab in order to get out of being embarrassed and then develop an actual addiction and have to be guided through detox by Roseanne any day.

"Bird Internet"

Just realized that this is my 101st entry on girl glows green. Huzzah! Let us celebrate the moment by talking about tonight's awesome 30 Rock episode, "Plan B". Regular readers will be glad to know that a very similar celebration of last night's super-great Modern Family is on its way, but for the first time I'm gonna post on things out of order because I haven't had time to rewatch Modern Family but I just watched 30 Rock and it blew me away.

Maybe it's because this season has been so lackluster and filled with stuff that just hasn't worked. But last week's foray into reality TV with "Queen Of Jordan" was tons of fun, if not the comedy powerhouse that "Plan B" was. Even with the episode being unfortunately bookended by traditional "Hungry Hungry Liz" jokes, I was seriously impressed by how effortlessly 30 Rock returned to its classic and most hilarious roots.

"You just got Zized"

Ok, Glee. W. T. F?

Last night I watched Glee with two of my friends. There was me, the jaded critic; Alia, the long-time fan; and Kristen, someone who had only watched a few recent episodes. Three people with three very different perspectives with one thing in common when it comes to Glee: we all really want to like the show. I was especially glad to have the two of them around, then, when "Sexy" started going off the rails and they could assure me it wasn't just me who thought this was the worst, poorly organized, most perplexing episode of the entire series.

Glee has been facing criticism for character consistency since the second season began. The show's writers have responded by removing any lingering ounce of character consistency and instead focusing on picking truly terrible songs to compliment the spectacularly awful and empty plots we have to plod through each week. Some critics have given up yelling into the void and are now defending the lack of consistency, saying, "That's just how Glee is!" But I refuse to give up. I will yell into the void for as long as I have lungs and people continue to stand by this crap. Why? Because I remember what 3/4 of the first season was like. It was inspiring. Uplifting. Joyful. It was not afraid to be uncool, or silly, or flamboyant. It presented an incredibly wide range of music in interesting and beautifully-sung ways. Now the show seems to exist solely to sell iTunes singles. The writers and producers are unconcerned with plot or pure musicality or character development or, well, quality, because they are making a bajillion dollars. And guess what? It shows.

I'm going to try to summarize with bullet points because there is too much to go over and none of it is presented linearly. I haven't read any other bloggers' thoughts about "Sexy", but I don't see how there's any way they can't agree that this is where Glee went off the rails and belly-flopped over that shark.

Discussion Points!

I'm just gonna write a little about some random stuff that is too short to warrant a full post but that I want to muse upon anyway.

Firstly, Charlie Sheen. When I wrote this post way back in October I had no idea that things were going to get as bad as they've gotten with him. However, I agree with some of the complaints that I've been hearing...along the lines of "So it's ok for Charlie Sheen to be violent with women and go on destructive coke-fueled benders but threatening the creator of his shitty show is over the line?" What CBS has done is given terrible, often illegal behavior a pass, finally drawing the line at him saying awful things about Chuck Lorre. I'm not saying the things he said weren't awful. I'm just saying he's done a hell of a lot worse things in just the past year, and it

would've been nice if someone in charge had done something about it before now. In addition, why Charlie Sheen picked now to join Twitter is beyond me, but regardless of whether there are drugs involved in his insane behavior (and I'm fairly sure there are) this is an excellent example of why I don't want to be famous. Seriously - let's teach our kids that this is not an aspirational goal. Is there an opposite of aspirational? Because I think that's Charlie Sheen.

The Season Of Anger, Boredom, And Hideous Gowns

Well, I was going to write about Downton Abbey, which I watched last weekend and it is fabulous; you should all check it out. Anyone who loved Gosford Park will enjoy this show, it's created by the guy who wrote that movie, Julian Fellowes, and takes place around approximately the same time. Superb acting by everyone involved including, yes, Dame Maggie Smith. But since everyone and their mom is talking about it now (and honestly, Pop Culture Happy Hour is starting to get supremely on my nerves because I care not for comic books, musicals, The Bachelor, or the pretentious way they dismiss Seth Rogen), I want to talk a little about awards season.

Tonight is the Golden Globes, and while I would watch if I could (the Golden Globes being one of the more fun awards show; they should just call it Drunk Celebrities Say They Damndest Things), I do not currently have a TV. So I'll have to check out highlights online tomorrow, which is totally fine with me.

I started watching awards shows when I was 12 and Titanic won everything (except an Oscar for my love, Leo) and I haven't really stopped since. However, my interest has dropped off steeply in the past couple years as movies have taken a turn for the worse. How on earth anybody could believe that No Country For Old Men, possibly the most boring and ultimately pointless movie I've ever seen, deserves a Best Picture award is far, far beyond me. You may think, Hey, but I liked that movie! No, you didn't. You were just told that you should. But even beyond that, I just find myself having little to no interest in seeing most of the movies. And I love movies! I love movies that are beautiful and that make me laugh and that are poignant and artfully written - and they don't even have to do all three at once. But those movies are never the ones that win, unless they're Return Of The King. Seriously, Scott Pilgrim was probably the best movie of last year, but good luck competing against Toy Story 3 ("Let's turn a fun romp into something incredibly dark and irredeemably threatening!") or True Grit (surprise, surprise, the Coen brothers make a western with a single strong female character - and it's a remake) or Black Swan, which I still haven't seen because I don't care about (a) scary ballerinas or (b) Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis making out because (c) Natalie Portman gets on my nerves like nobody's business, and she wears boring dresses. See, the lack of nominated movies that I want to see makes me care only about the clothes (I fully admit that I am a red carpet addict - but finding the right host is key; I dig Ryan Seacrest, but Giulana Rancic makes me want to jump into my TV and bludgeon her about her fat-hating self with a crystal clutch). I mean, a horribly sexist and mostly inaccurate movie about FUCKING FACEBOOK of all things will probably win best picture. This is a time to not care about movies and instead loudly judge the work of crappy stylists.

But that's one of the things that is so great about the Golden Globes! I mean, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are a bunch of crack smokers that will get things totally right one minute and then completely wrong the next, but at least there's some recognition for awesome television, which has almost entirely surpassed film in terms of quality, that isn't from the fucking Emmys. And its fun to see all the television actors and movie actors in one place, which doesn't really happen otherwise. Plus, for the second year, the Golden Globes will be hosted by Ricky Gervais, who, as we all know, doesn't hold back on being either straightforwardly biting or funny. And since the Oscars will be hosted for some unimaginable reason by Anne fucking Hathaway, the GGs really should be awesome. Mad Men FTW all the way!

To prepare yourself for this most nonsensical of seasons, you might want to go watch For Your Consideration, the movie Christopher Guest made a few years ago about what can happen to actors with a little Oscar buzz. It was, for no good reason, almost completely ignored by critics, probably for a similar reason as the neglect of I'm Still Here - it completely took to task the Hollywood machine and the culture that celebrates talent but abhors flaws of any sort. Yes, Catherine O'Hara actually did that to her face, and although it was all temporary, shows some serious commitment to her art - not only to acting, but also satire. That link will take you to Netflix; they put it on instant streaming just in time for awards season.

So, there might be some bitching around these parts about who won what and who was completely overlooked, but when it comes to movies I don't particularly care anymore. Hollywood needs to change things up and recognize the unexpectedly deserving instead of continuing the sad, dull circle-jerk they've got going on.

Image via Allie Is Wired

"There's a lot of f***ing judgment in this place, right?"

I just watched the Joaquin Phoenix/Casey Affleck documentary(?), "I'm Still Here. This is what I am feeling about it.

"I'm Not Here" is a little like "Inception". Whether or not it's real is both up to the viewer and, ultimately, inconsequential. What is undoubtedly authentic about the film is how quickly the Hollywood machine will turn on someone who refuses to go along with The Way Things Are Done. However, since Joaquin has done no acting or, to my knowledge, public appearances, since, in my opinion there is no reason to doubt that his actions and emotions are anything but authentic, even if the film may be, in some ways, scripted.

It is a tragic story, but one that serves to illustrate to what extent the players in Hollywood are in collusion with each other. I'm pretty convinced that the reason "I'm Not Here" didn't get much critical recognition is because of how completely it reveals the cruel flaws in the media system. Yes, there are occasionally drugs involved, and yes, Joaquin's brother River died of a drug overdose. But why? Because they were both put in a position where no one is telling them not to? Because they are troubled souls whose fragility informs their art but plagues their life? Who really knows. What we do know is that for a celebrity to break out of their assigned box and try to do something different when faced with nothing but mockery and criticism can be life-alteringly difficult.

Save Our Shows!

I've been wanting to talk for a while about ratings, and the system that determines what shows get to stay on the air. It's a fucked-up, broken system and it's really clear to me that something needs to change.

We're living in a time now when almost everything is connected digitally. We can tell our friends instantly about the songs we just purchased on iTunes (argh, I hate Ping, especially the fact that I can't turn it off) and Tweet in realtime about whatever is happening in our lives. So why is it that we're still living in the archaic age of Nielson ratings? People watch TV differently today than they did even five years ago. Many people, including the majority of young people, watch their favorite shows online - on Hulu or the network websites or they do some minor internet sleuthing and find them for free, like I often do. Many other people don't have time for live TV and record it on their DVR. However, TV ratings do not reflect these numbers, and if they do, it's inefficient.

Television is in a golden age right now; some of the best shows that have ever been made are currently on the air, and it's getting more respect as a medium than it ever has before. So why can't we adjust the technology used to measure the true popularity of a show? I'm sure there's something complicated with advertising budgets and whatever, but I'm also positive there are vast informational improvements to be made. Nielson ratings work using a statistical model, but with the amazing technological networks that we have today, why not set up a system where the viewer can digitally submit a record of what they've been watching? Can we set up Hulu so that I know my many viewings of Psych and Castle aren't going unnoticed by the networks? I don't like to feel that I'm betraying a struggling show because I watch it online.

I can already hear the argument against this system: invasion of privacy, Big Brother, yadda yadda yadda. But honestly, do you really care if a robot or a pencil-pusher know that you just spent the weekend watching a Hoarders marathon? I think we're long past the point where you should be embarrassed for watching crap television, once the Real Housewives and Toddlers & Tiaras started to take over our pop culture consciousness. Honestly, I miss the wholesome motives of Rock Of Love - at least they were there for Bret. And imagine the shows that could have been saved (Arrested Development! Firefly! Huge!) if the networks were getting a real count of the people watching.

But I digress. My point is that the system is outdated and in need of some serious redesigning. The American people like to feel that they have a voice, and right now that voice is not being adequately heard. I know that television ratings could be far more accurate...maybe if we fix it than some worthwhile shows will be rescued.

The Inevitable Disappointment

I've realized that what's even worse than Bryan Cranston beating Jon Hamm for the third year in a row is that Emmy voters simply have no taste. In fact, the only major awards I think they got right were the Emmys given to Jane Lynch and Mad Men.

It always sucks when there's a category (Best Supporting Actor in a Drama, por ejemplo) where 5 of the nominees are so good I can't decide which one deserves it and the remaining one is lame...and wins it. Michael Emerson, Terry O'Quinn, John Slattery, Martin Short...you were robbed. Not to mention that Christina Hendricks and Elizabeth Moss lost to a woman who quite clearly stated, "This is great for my career" in her speech. No shit, dude. Now go do something worthwhile.

Fuck The Good Wife. I hate the title, I hate the subject, and I hate that it captivates all of the elderly and unimaginative Emmy voters. And while we're at it, fuck The Closer even harder. How cunty was it when Kyra Sedgwick made Tina Fey hold her Emmy while she gave her speech? I have always hated Kyra Sedgwick, but that just cemented it. God, what an awful thing to do. Tina, I love you. I'll give you an Emmy.

I'm glad that NPH won for the Tonys because clearly no one is ever going to give him or Steve Carell any of the love they so truly deserve.

And we're just going to forget everything that Jimmy Fallon said - let's just remember what he sang. Dude has seriously surprised me at actually being really good on Late Night, but the writing on the show last night was so bad there was no way he was gonna pull it off. Thank god for John Hodgeman.

The opening, however, was brilliant. They should all get Emmys just for that, including Tim Gunn and Randy Jackson (I'm not an Idol fan by any means, but it was awesome to see him actually up there totally shredding on the guitar), but we can leave out Kate Gosselin and that unrecognizable brunette who jumped in at the last minute. And can someone please make me a gif of John Hamm shimmying and then backing it up? And one of Jorge singing? I need that hotness multiple times a day, man.

In other news, once Jorge Garcia and John Hamm and Joel McHale form a band, my life will be complete. Seriously, guys...I would pay a lot of money to see that. Maybe all my money. Ever. So...get on it.

And now please welcome once again to the stage...The Primetime Emmys!

It's time, kids. It's time to talk about the Emmys.

Now, I don't have a problem with the Emmys themselves, per se. Of course it makes sense for the medium of television to have its own awards show. The problem is that I don't think anyone really thought it through enough to realize that awards for television might need to be structured a little differently than those for movies or music.

Because what ends up happening is this: An actor lands a role on a show. The actor is nominated by Emmy (or Golden Globe, they have the same problem) voters. The actor wins an Emmy. And then next year, when that actor is nominated for playing the exact same role and wins again, no one says boo. I'm sorry, but even stellar actors like Alec Baldwin get stuck in this trope. No doubt that he's brilliant on 30 Rock, but there is so much good work being done on TV these days and this awards show-rut continuously rewards the same people. Like effing Tony Shaloub. Did anyone know that Monk was even still on the air? Tony Shaloub and Monk are like, the U2 of television: you don't know anyone who really likes them, yet they continue to be rewarded by their own industry (seriously, Rolling Stone: no one cares about U2. stop sucking Bono's dick and give me some more Matt Taibi and Rob Sheffield, because that's all I read anymore). Anyway, my point is that I really feel like there needs to be a rule where an actor can only win once for a particular role. I don't think it applies to the shows themselves; a show can be very different from season to season. But especially in comedies...god, I was so angry when that awful old man from Everybody Loves Raymond won over and over again, even after he died. Well, I was pretty angry when anything from ELR won at all, but that's just because I have good taste.

Seriously, though. Alec, Tina, Jon Hamm...I love you guys. You're amazing actors and you deserve the Emmys you already have. But I also love NPH and Jorge Garcia and Rainn Wilson and Jane Lynch and Zach Galifianakis and Nathan Fillion and Justin Kirk...just to name a few. And I think they deserve some recognition for the incredible work they do.

The Point Of This Post Is That Martin Short Is Hilarious.

I recently watched Christopher Guest's first film as a writer/director, The Big Picture. Anyone who has any interest in the Hollywood scene should really watch it, it's a hilarious look at the ways the machine takes you in, grinds you up, and spits you out.

Plus, it led me to discover Martin Short in a role that rivals The Piv's Ari Gold. Unfortunately they don't have my favorite scene of his up on YouTube, but this one is still pretty good. And you should really just go watch the whole movie (it's on Netflix instant) because even though I hate Kevin Bacon and Teri Hatcher it's still totally awesome. And Michael McKean is so cute with his 80's beard and swishy hair.

Seriously though, Martin Short. Is awesome. Now, I loved Hamlet 2 as much as the next girl, but I'm still not entirely convinced that the whole concept isn't ripped off from Martin Short in Get Over It, one of the most highly underrated & unknown movies from the early '00s. It has Sisqo in it! And Vitamin C singing Captain and Tenille! And Shane West as a boy band member with a fake accent! And a musical version of A Midsummer Night's Dream! If you need more from a movie than that, I can't help you.

Anyway, check out Mr. Short (and Ben Foster) being utterly hilarious in this clip, and then go watch both of these movies. You can thank me when you're not so full with laughter and nostalgia.

"Projectioooooooooooooooooon, Mr Burke!"

Entourage knows we know they know we know

every time i think of Entourage, i think of this:

sometimes i even say it out loud.

i've watched Entourage since the beginning, and it was with the last season that i really started to realize that the show doesn't particularly interest me. here is a graph that illustrates my feelings about Entourage over time:

i've really just begun to realize how much of a safe place Entourage is for Hollywood to make fun of itself. after PaceyCon and Eva Mendes' SEX Tape, the differences between the kind of self-mocking they do on sites like FunnyOrDie and the kind that they do on this highly produced (and lauded) HBO series became really clear to me. the guest stars on Entourage are clearly playing characters that are not themselves. although you'll see them referencing their past work and possibly even trashing it, the celebrities who guest on Entourage are written to be so overblown that they become ludicrous and thus unbelievable (except, perhaps, Gary Busey, bless his crazy little heart). they are also clearly still a part of the Hollywood machine...and some of them are such bad actors that it's painfully clear they're playing a role (i'm looking at you, Mary).

but the Funny Or Die skits refer to the celebrities' pasts as a real part of who they are, even though the person they present is still obviously not a straight-up representation of who they are. and because it's presented in a medium that isn't controlled by Hollywood or aimed at making money (beyond self-promotion), it's straight-up funnier. and more real. and really...funnier.

just look at the difference between these two examples of actors mocking themselves and making references to their past, and think about they way that each video makes you relate to the actor.

Bob Saget:

James Franco:

Acting With James Franco Episode 1: "Sense Memory" from James Franco

to me, James Franco's introduction with the clips of his on-screen crying supports the version of himself that he's playing (and mocking) in the movie. on the other hand, Bob Saget's comment about doing drugs in the 90's either rings true...or gross. honestly, i don't want to hear how fucked up you possibly were around all those kids. and i don't really believe that you were. and the Hollywood whorehouse brings up a whole other set of issues.

Entourage espouses to give us something that Americans have proven they love: a glimpse into the magical and mysterious lives of the rich and famous. this is what it's like to go to Sundance! this is what it's like to get the most exclusive sneakers! this is what it's like to fuck any starlet you want! but at this point, a lot of it feels like the rich people tooting their own horn. i don't care if there are whorehouses hidden in Hollywood and auctions where famous athletes will sell you their dinosaur skull. i'm sure there are. i just don't care about them. i'm tired of the most celebrated thing in this country being a lifestyle that is, simply put, wasteful.

so, it's refreshing to me when celebrities go low-budg, unserious, and celebrate the fact that their fans may love them for a less-than critically acclaimed piece of work. and in the age of the Internet, fans are constantly seeking out something that will tell them more about their favorite celebs. this way, the celebrities can put an honest and light-hearted piece of themselves out there without revealing too much.

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Entouraaaage! bringing the focus back to the show, i'd like to direct your attention back to the graph i made. after making that graph, and writing some more, and leaving to go to a play and coming home and sleeping and then getting up to finish this post, i went searching for some images and learned that the show is now in it's seventh season. god, no wonder it's getting stale. i honestly thought we were on season 5, maybe 6. so, you know...adjust the graph accordingly, 'cause i'm too lazy to do it and it's hard to edit in MS Paint.

by this time, the relatively flat characters are already so developed that there's nowhere for

them to go from here. they're trying to give Grenier a bad-boy phase right now, but shaving

your head and doing a Cassavetes stunt and jumping out of an airplane and fucking Sasha Grey do not impress me. except for maybe that last one. seriously, they shaved his head! WTF? everyone knows the hottest part about him is his hair. gimme more of this ---->

and less of this:

Drama is ugly, annoying, and repetitive. Eric is a whiny bitch and i hate that i'm supposed to care about him. and Turtle, my lovely little Turtle, lost just enough weight to make me sad and is trying to fuck that Latina actress who is totally an Emily Valentine. there is really nothing exciting going on in the show; the characters don't learn anything or grow in any way. and maybe that's Hollywood...but it's also boring.

this brings us to Ari. you know, i hopped on the Ari train along with everyone else when Entourage came out. he was an honest and funny character. but now his stunts have gotten so overblown - they gave him too much power, and now it'm bored. and i am so unimpressed with the "bitches teaming up to get Ari 'cause they're bitches" storyline. i might be a little more forgiving if the show had a single positive female character, but i hate Sloane and though i love Debi Mazar and Ari's hot wife i'm not sure they count. Ari is most entertaining when he's in the trenches with Lloyd, trying to get shit done. and there's not enough Lloyd anymore!

ultimately, my problem with Ari comes down to this: i realized at the beginning of this season that the reason why Hollywood folk and the Emmys & whatnot love Ari Gold/Jeremy Piven is because he basically does an overblown and hilarious impersonation of their agents. those of us plebes who don't have agents don't understand why The Piv continues to get awards for playing a flat, static character...and i think it's because Hollywood loves to congratulate its own narcissism. all these actors can mock agents and the Hollywood process, which must feel liberating when you're stuck so hard in it. but what it comes down to is that Piven's performance, while convincing and funny, has zero depth. and i get really angry when original and talented actors get passed over come awards season in favor of more masturbatory statues being flung at Entourage.

(the way i feel about actors winning awards for playing the same roles year after year when the role doesn't markedly change is the subject of a whole other post.)

to sum up: Entourage has gotten stale. there's that line in the (irritating, interminable) theme song that goes, "you know i need you desperately"...and the answer to that is yes. i do know you need me, and i know you know i know. the problem is, you haven't convinced me to stick around, bros. after seven (god, i still can't believe it's been seven) years, it might be time to kick this toxic relationship to the curb and move on to something newer, fresher, and funnier.

sorry, boys. it's not me, it's you.

Images via fancast.com, buzznet.com, fashionfame.com