"Because of the layers?"

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The Nude Erections

Oh, fine. I'll see you in the fall, Glee. Have a great summer touring. :( Seriously, those kids are worked hella hard, I'd like to see what their paycheck is. I'm pretty sure it's disproportionate to the amount of money the show brings in, especially now that they're polluting the world with these fucking terrible original songs. But we'll get to that in a minute. Overall, the finale was much like the season – partly awful and partly great, but the great parts were pretty wonderful.

The Gershwin opening was lovely, as were the Gershwin themes that ran through other parts of the show. Rachel's coat (well, everyone's clothes, really) was fanfuckingtastic. And it was fun to watch them galavanting about New York, even if the song left something to be desired. I enjoyed parts of the Finchel storyline - it was certainly the most captivating part of the show. But, like always, there was a whole lot of fluff in between that I still feel obligated to mention.

Let's see. Mr. Schue is a terrible teacher, obviously, and so he abandons his class and says, hey teenagers! You have to write two amazing, prize-winning songs, and you have one single day. See ya! Maybe if you're good, I'll bring you pizza in 17 hours. Mr. Schue, this is not Project Runway, and you are not Tim Gunn. You don't just get to leave the set and go off and be fabulous somewhere because you feel like it. Also, you may just be the opposite of Tim Gunn. Ugh, I really hate Matthew Morrison and his vests and his gargoyle face. I wish he was just one big set of abs. ANYway, he goes and sings an awful song (really, does he sing any other kind?) and then some guy wanders by and is all, You're gonna be a staaaaar, m'boy! *old-timey jazz hands*

"Like that's any less gay"

Man, when Glee is good, it's very, very good. I mean we all know that when it's bad, it's horrid, but "Born This Way" really was a step up, even from last week. There was a lot of negative feedback from blogland for "A Night Of Neglect" (still the worst title ever), but not in these parts. Oh, sure, it wasn't the best, had too much Gwyneth and was kind of cobbled together, but I'm grading on a curve and it was a hell of a lot better than most of the episodes this season. Additionally, 1 Steven Tobolowsky + 1 Cheyenne Jackson = 0 Gwyneth Paltrows. Anyway, tonight managed to be even better.

CAVEAT: I am still profoundly angry and irritated the way the writers decided to ignore Santana's possibly bisexuality despite her many occasions of professed sexual attraction for men (go back and watch the Britney episode and tell me she's not hot for Dr. Carl). However, since this show is THE WORST at character consistency and has a proven history of biphobia, I'm just going to suck it up and accept that Santana is now a total 'mo, a full-on Kinsey 6, and hope that maybe they can discover some non-hateful nuance when it comes to Britttany ("I think I might be bi-curious"? ARRRRGH. Bi-sexual. If you like or have liked having sex/being in love with boys AND girls you are what is called bisexual. Just. Say. It.). Moving on to the parts that don't make me want to scream epithets at my computer.

"Let me cut to the sexy chase"

Fuck yeah, Glee! I loved tonight's return to form. Oh, I know it won't last, and I'll be back to bitching about it in a week or two, but "A Night Of Neglect" (terrible title for anything) really was awesome.

Let's start with Mercedes FINALLY getting her due. It took goddamn long enough! But it was great how Zizes inspired her to demand the respect she deserved. More of Team Big Girls, please! But I thought that Rachel schooling Mercedes on Aretha was hella condescending and weird. However, WHO THE FUCK CARES because that rendition of "Ain't No Way" was fanfuckingtastic, one of the best songs the show has ever done, and really just straight up awesome. Although Glee can be infuriating and shitty, they do tend to listen to their audience for very short periods of time, and I know that it wasn't just me complaining about the lack of Mercedes this season. Hopefully she won't be allowed to fade away into the background again. The title of the episode (and benefit) was an interesting but obvious tie in to Mercedes herself being the neglected artist, and I think after that, the characters but also the show as a whole are going to have to give her the respect and recognition she deserves.

Seriously - that song. KILLED it.

Griping About Glee

I just read this over at The A.V. Club and while I don't agree with everything it says, I think the comparisons between Community and Glee raise some really interesting points, mostly on the Glee side.

Let's face it: Glee has become the Justin Bieber of television, long before they made the tragic mistake of doing an actual Justin Bieber episode. What this means is they know they have the ratings, so they've just been doing whatever they can to appeal to their fan base, incorrectly assuming that their fan base is all gay men and teenage girls. What they've lost among their plebian popularity is actual awesomeness and style. More and more each song every week is close enough to the original to be the original (see "Tik Tok" in this week's episode for just one of many, many examples). I'm not sure why this is - I know I'm much more inclined to buy a song if it doesn't sound like the version I already have, or if there's enough of a character's emotion invested in it to make it meaningful. My favorite song from this season is hands-down Kurt and Rachel's rendition of "Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" because it fulfills both of those criteria. The problem is that Glee is pandering to the lowest common denominator, and when the LCD is 8th graders, quality suffers.

The other real problem that finally became clear for me this week is the unevenness of every episode. "Blame It On The Alcohol" has some parts that I loved (all of the party scene; Schue and Bieste at the bar where I really wanted him to sing "Honky Tonk Women") and some parts I thought were irredeemably awful and offensive. With such glaring inconsistencies it's difficult to judge even just one episode on its own. Critics loved the Valentine's episode, whereas I thought it was weak with some bright spots (namely Santana) and that the whole thing was ruined by stupid Blaine and his terrible rendition of "Silly Love Songs". Random side-note: wouldn't it be funny if they were to do a Moulin Rouge episode with covers of covers? I mean, it'd be hella meta, but could be done well if they really tried.

Speaking of Blaine, let's go back to "Blame It On The Alcohol" and the blatant biphobia therein. To sum up: Blaine and Rachel drunkenly kiss during spin the bottle, and there's a spark there for both of them. They sing a Human League song and I think, "Hmm, maybe I don't hate Blaine after all!" Kurt is depressed and horrified, even more so when Rachel asks Blaine out and he says yes. Blaine admits that he's still questioning and figuring himself out and that it's possible he could be bi. Kurt flippantly says something so offensive I'm reluctant to put it here: "Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel normal." After that I was ready to head over to Twitter, all up in arms about it, but Blaine's response of telling Kurt that he shouldn't judge him for being who he is was a good one. However, Kurt's characterization of being bi equating a return to the closet was one that I think a lot of gay guys fall back on - that to be bi is to abandon your identity for one that is somehow safer or more normal.

"I'm mad at you. You're still so hot."

Guys, I'm really sorry that it's been so long since my last post. But a long weekend at my parent's house and a necessity to spend the following mornings unpacking and rearranging my room ate up my time. Plus, I've still got to watch all the TV that I love to write about on here and man, that takes some serious dedication. So, for this post we're going to do it bullet-style so I can get out all the random thoughts I've been having - and then get back to watching Community commentary because I'm hoping to have my in-depth Community posts done by Halloween (there is commentary on every episode! Seriously, if you're thinking about a DVD to buy, Community is definitely the most awesome for your buck.). Okay, let's start the show.

- Glee is back - for realsies! After three poorly organized episodes with some very weak (or just plain obnoxious) song choices, they finally brought it this week in "Duets". OMG I love Brittany and Santana and their queerness. I love Kurt and his awesome "Faith Hill" voice rocking the cock out of "Le Jazz Hot". The songs this week were (mostly) perfection - I am already over Sam's aww-shucks Jack Johnson/Mrazziness, but other than that...I actually downloaded some new songs yesterday. I really, really wanted to hear Artie and Brittany sing together, but I also like how they developed their storyline because it made perfect sense for both of their characters. Glee has a problem with consistency of motive and emotion - it can be kind of like Gossip Girl in that regard. But thankfully in "Duets" the writers snapped out of it, realized that no one, on the show or IRL, wants to watch Rachel Berry belt a self-involved ballad at the end of every fucking episode (and OMG, how amazing was that Kurt/Rachel/Judy/Barbra number? Blew my gay little mind.). Taking the focus off of Rachel and Finn a little and making the show more of a true ensemble is a step in the right direction and I hope the writers continue this way. But, let's be honest, they probably won't.

"People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers."

When Glee started last night with "Jew Fro" interviewing glee club members and asking questions that the blogosphere and critics have all been asking, I was so excited. "Finally," I said to myself, "They really are going to address the criticisms and make the show stronger." And it did start out that way.

The Point Of This Post Is That Martin Short Is Hilarious.

I recently watched Christopher Guest's first film as a writer/director, The Big Picture. Anyone who has any interest in the Hollywood scene should really watch it, it's a hilarious look at the ways the machine takes you in, grinds you up, and spits you out.

Plus, it led me to discover Martin Short in a role that rivals The Piv's Ari Gold. Unfortunately they don't have my favorite scene of his up on YouTube, but this one is still pretty good. And you should really just go watch the whole movie (it's on Netflix instant) because even though I hate Kevin Bacon and Teri Hatcher it's still totally awesome. And Michael McKean is so cute with his 80's beard and swishy hair.

Seriously though, Martin Short. Is awesome. Now, I loved Hamlet 2 as much as the next girl, but I'm still not entirely convinced that the whole concept isn't ripped off from Martin Short in Get Over It, one of the most highly underrated & unknown movies from the early '00s. It has Sisqo in it! And Vitamin C singing Captain and Tenille! And Shane West as a boy band member with a fake accent! And a musical version of A Midsummer Night's Dream! If you need more from a movie than that, I can't help you.

Anyway, check out Mr. Short (and Ben Foster) being utterly hilarious in this clip, and then go watch both of these movies. You can thank me when you're not so full with laughter and nostalgia.

"Projectioooooooooooooooooon, Mr Burke!"