In 2011, The Emmys Happened.

For the 63rd time. Here is what came from that happening (and my Twitter feed and YouTube):

- I liked the opening. Jane Lynch is the best. Ron Swanson is The Best. Mad Men is awesome (omg I just remembered I have some great Jon Hamm gossip but that I should not put it on the Internets because that could get the person who blessed my life with this totally adorable and enviable gossip FIRED and then I would feel like the worst because I would totally actually be The Worst. So: if you know me, then ask me about it. But only if you promise not to post it in your blog.). The Big Bang Theory poked fun at their laugh track, but it wasn't enough to make me forget how terrible laugh tracks are and how much better their show would be without one. The Sue Sylvester split-screen was awkward all around. But it ended on a good note, and made me wish I could have watched more of her on-stage banter.

"Rocky Mountain Oysters"

And thus Michael Scott departed from The Office.

It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't The Worst, either. There were a few moments that I genuinely loved, and then there were some that I hated, or didn't understand, or that felt disappointing. Let's start with what was great:

- The cold open. A fun scene that maintained character continuity while hearkening back to some of the best cold opens with Michael and Dwight (mmm, peanut butter head).

- The look Michael had on his face as Deangelo was explaining how he was gonna drill holes in his favorite truck. 

"And THAT is Dallas."

Oh man. One after the other, and I haven't even watched the Pulp Fiction episode of Community yet. But I've got to post while it's fresh in my mind, and tomorrow morning I won't have time.

One of the hallmarks of the best episodes of The Office are two or three storylines that all carry through and bring something great to the table in order to create the perfect blend of drawn-out-joke funny, quippy, and emotional. "Garage Sale" handles all three of these elements with the wit and visual dexterity we all know and love, and turns out yet another great segment in The Final Chapter Of Michael Scott. I want to break down all three of the storylines and then we'll deal with the fun squee! stuff at the end.

"Turn off the Chumbawumba and scram, twerp!"

Dude, I love how surly and free with her body Meredith is - even when she's dancing on Kevin.

The Office is one of those shows that has consistently gotten better and better. I'm not of the mind that Jim and Pam getting together ruined anything about the show - they couldn't have gone on the way they were, and now they're like this awesome team and they are still hilarious together, just like always. Jim and Pam make the perfect foils to Mr. Dwight K. Schrute, and I love how their relationships have developed - sometimes they're friends, mostly they're adversaries, and their relationship is always dynamic and believable. And I think it's great to have pranks being pulled that wouldn't be possible in an office that isn't this office - it gives the audience a nice voyeuristic fantasy. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

The opening of the premiere was a great chance for everyone in the office to have a moment - which is part of what makes this show great, mining the comedy potential of all these diverse characters. People are saying that The Office couldn't go on without Steve Carell, but those people obviously haven't seen the webisodes, which are great without most of the lead actors.

However, just because he's leaving doesn't mean that Steve Carell isn't still amazing at playing Michael Scott:

"Do you think they should have had open auditions for the band Hanson? What if no one named Hanson showed up? That wouldn't even make sense. Or what if they just hired the littlest kid...and a 50-year-old guy...who was a murderer.....really safe."

The Inevitable Disappointment

I've realized that what's even worse than Bryan Cranston beating Jon Hamm for the third year in a row is that Emmy voters simply have no taste. In fact, the only major awards I think they got right were the Emmys given to Jane Lynch and Mad Men.

It always sucks when there's a category (Best Supporting Actor in a Drama, por ejemplo) where 5 of the nominees are so good I can't decide which one deserves it and the remaining one is lame...and wins it. Michael Emerson, Terry O'Quinn, John Slattery, Martin Short...you were robbed. Not to mention that Christina Hendricks and Elizabeth Moss lost to a woman who quite clearly stated, "This is great for my career" in her speech. No shit, dude. Now go do something worthwhile.

Fuck The Good Wife. I hate the title, I hate the subject, and I hate that it captivates all of the elderly and unimaginative Emmy voters. And while we're at it, fuck The Closer even harder. How cunty was it when Kyra Sedgwick made Tina Fey hold her Emmy while she gave her speech? I have always hated Kyra Sedgwick, but that just cemented it. God, what an awful thing to do. Tina, I love you. I'll give you an Emmy.

I'm glad that NPH won for the Tonys because clearly no one is ever going to give him or Steve Carell any of the love they so truly deserve.

And we're just going to forget everything that Jimmy Fallon said - let's just remember what he sang. Dude has seriously surprised me at actually being really good on Late Night, but the writing on the show last night was so bad there was no way he was gonna pull it off. Thank god for John Hodgeman.

The opening, however, was brilliant. They should all get Emmys just for that, including Tim Gunn and Randy Jackson (I'm not an Idol fan by any means, but it was awesome to see him actually up there totally shredding on the guitar), but we can leave out Kate Gosselin and that unrecognizable brunette who jumped in at the last minute. And can someone please make me a gif of John Hamm shimmying and then backing it up? And one of Jorge singing? I need that hotness multiple times a day, man.

In other news, once Jorge Garcia and John Hamm and Joel McHale form a band, my life will be complete. Seriously, guys...I would pay a lot of money to see that. Maybe all my money. Ever. So...get on it.

And now please welcome once again to the stage...The Primetime Emmys!

It's time, kids. It's time to talk about the Emmys.

Now, I don't have a problem with the Emmys themselves, per se. Of course it makes sense for the medium of television to have its own awards show. The problem is that I don't think anyone really thought it through enough to realize that awards for television might need to be structured a little differently than those for movies or music.

Because what ends up happening is this: An actor lands a role on a show. The actor is nominated by Emmy (or Golden Globe, they have the same problem) voters. The actor wins an Emmy. And then next year, when that actor is nominated for playing the exact same role and wins again, no one says boo. I'm sorry, but even stellar actors like Alec Baldwin get stuck in this trope. No doubt that he's brilliant on 30 Rock, but there is so much good work being done on TV these days and this awards show-rut continuously rewards the same people. Like effing Tony Shaloub. Did anyone know that Monk was even still on the air? Tony Shaloub and Monk are like, the U2 of television: you don't know anyone who really likes them, yet they continue to be rewarded by their own industry (seriously, Rolling Stone: no one cares about U2. stop sucking Bono's dick and give me some more Matt Taibi and Rob Sheffield, because that's all I read anymore). Anyway, my point is that I really feel like there needs to be a rule where an actor can only win once for a particular role. I don't think it applies to the shows themselves; a show can be very different from season to season. But especially in comedies...god, I was so angry when that awful old man from Everybody Loves Raymond won over and over again, even after he died. Well, I was pretty angry when anything from ELR won at all, but that's just because I have good taste.

Seriously, though. Alec, Tina, Jon Hamm...I love you guys. You're amazing actors and you deserve the Emmys you already have. But I also love NPH and Jorge Garcia and Rainn Wilson and Jane Lynch and Zach Galifianakis and Nathan Fillion and Justin Kirk...just to name a few. And I think they deserve some recognition for the incredible work they do.