My Favorite Things

I have a problem with "Best Of" lists. I'm not very good at ranking things, and the end of the year always brings these lists where one thing is often ranked above or below a different, almost incomparable thing. Why must I decide which is my absolute favorite? I've been watching a lot of Arrested Development lately, as I am wont to do at this time of year, and I love it so much - but I can't say I love it more or less than something else...I have enough love to go around! Television and I have a polyamorous relationship. So here are my favorite shows, moments, people, and things from 2011, in absolutely no particular order.

Emmys, Premieres, And One Blogger's Eternal Struggle

The Emmys are tonight, and Monday marks the real return of real television (The CW's fall season minus Gossip Girl started this week, but we don't count that). This means that, in addition to working, studying, and having a life that involves life-size, tangible people, I've got a shit-ton of shows to watch, recap, and opinionate on. Don't get me wrong; I'm super-excited. But just to give you a sense of what I'm up against here, these are the new shows that are showing up on my Sidereel schedule this week:

How I Met Your Mother

Castle

Glee

Raising Hope

Parenthood

SVU

Up All Night

Modern Family

CSI (on Wednesdays???)

Person Of Interest

The Big Bang Theory

Community

The Office

Parks & Recreation

Archer

Fringe

A Gifted Man

And that doesn't even count the summer shows I'm still watching like The Big C and Project Runway, or the shows that decided to do TWO premiere episodes like the effing Big Bang Theory (it's never the ones you hope for), or the shows that already premiered that I haven't watched yet, like Up All Night and Parenthood. So, you can see that it's gonna take me a little while to get through it all, and that posts will, by necessity, hopefully be somewhat abbreviated. It's actually kind of a good thing that the brand new shows mostly look like crap, because otherwise I'd be completely bogged down. I will do my best to watch everything and post in a timely fashion, but some shows' fall evaluations may have to wait until next week.

Now on to The Emmys. I won't say too much about it because most of my frustrations with the whole Emmy system are expressed in this post, but I will say this: The Emmys are broken. I do not, as of yet, have a solution to the problem of how to get Emmy voters to watch more than one or two episodes of a series, but I'm working on it. The system wherein shows submit their favorite episodes for consideration completely ignores the painstaking and incredible continuity work that goes into a show like Community, and instead rewards those shows who display a complete LACK and DISREGARD for continuity, aka Glee. I'm not surprised Glee got an Emmy nom; there were a couple good episodes this past season (if you ignore the rampant biphobia and absolutely awful and nonsensical character arcs for EVERYONE and focus instead on that one time Gwyneth Paltrow sang a Cee-Lo song), but there is no way it was a better over-all season than Community. Or Episodes. Or Archer. Or any number of fantastic shows that did not receive a nomination. This system of selecting single shows for judgment also totally dis-favors shows like Fringe and Lost that have season- or even series-long plotlines. Now, I know it's silly to rail against something as ultimately meaningless as The Emmys, but it really does make me sad when I see programs and actors that I know are great and deserving because I have watched ALL of their episodes lose to programs and actors that I know are equally undeserving because I have suffered through all or most of their episodes (ugh The Big Bang Theory UGHHH). So here's hoping that tonight will be all about Mad Men (The Best), Parks & Recreation (The Best next to the infuriatingly ROBBED Community), and Louie (also just The Best). Down with Boardwalk Empire (unless the Emmy is for set direction), Glee, and The Big Bang Theory! Give the rightly deserving all that they rightly deserve.

Seriously, though, you do not want to be in my house if Mad Men doesn't win best drama for their spectacular fourth season, because it is an indisputable FACT that everything about that show is meticulously awesome and even Friday Night Lights (which I have heard is great and is the only other nominated drama I will even slightly concede to) doesn't have the total package of top-notch writing and acting and directing and costumes and set direction and lighting and cinematography and EVERYTHING that Mad Men has.

My Glee issues do not extend to Jane Lynch, whom I LOVE, and who I am very excited to see host tonight. I love how the major awards shows just get gayer and gayer every year. Here's hoping for some excellent pantsuits.

Ok, I'm off to get some sun and live some semblance of a life before the season of opinions officially begins. Expect outraged commentary in the morning!

"That's very Wool."

It's May, which means it's season finale time! Now, I'm not going to be going through EVERY season finale (Parenthood and Archer have already finished - one, disappointingly; the other, marvelously), but for those that truly warrant it, you can bet I'll be there to talk about it. And in case you're wondering why my posting is sporadic or why I haven't said anything about HIMYM's lark "The Perfect Cocktail" or "A Fistful Of Paintballs", these are the reasons why:

- For two-part finales, I'm not going to go into it (even though "A Fistful Of Paintballs" was SO AWESOME so far) until the second one has aired. Redundancy annoys me.

-I am currently working on two spectacularly helpful lists for the summer, including shows you should use the summer hiatus to check out or catch up on, and what shows have new episodes airing this summer that are worth watching (Burn Notice? Not on the list. Wipeout? Made the cut.). So check back over the next few weeks and there should be plenty television talk to go around.

In the meantime, I'll just say that the 30 Rock finale was everything I've come to expect of 30 Rock this season - mostly disappointing with a few great jokes and guest stars making most of them. Will Forte bothers me in almost everything else he does, but his role here has been a hilarious highlight since it began. Victor Garber can put me in a wool sweater anytime he likes...but only if he promises to take it off me afterwards.

Not really, that's gross, I've been admiring Victor Garber since I was a wee child watching The First Wives' Club and he had grey hair THEN which must make him very old NOW. But still, there's no denying his greatness.

Anyway, stay tuned and don't miss all the great finales! And if you haven't seen "A Fistful Of Paintballs, Part 1", yet, what in the name of Sawyer are you waiting for??? Watch it here or here.

Image via TV.com

Discussion Points!

I'm just gonna write a little about some random stuff that is too short to warrant a full post but that I want to muse upon anyway.

Firstly, Charlie Sheen. When I wrote this post way back in October I had no idea that things were going to get as bad as they've gotten with him. However, I agree with some of the complaints that I've been hearing...along the lines of "So it's ok for Charlie Sheen to be violent with women and go on destructive coke-fueled benders but threatening the creator of his shitty show is over the line?" What CBS has done is given terrible, often illegal behavior a pass, finally drawing the line at him saying awful things about Chuck Lorre. I'm not saying the things he said weren't awful. I'm just saying he's done a hell of a lot worse things in just the past year, and it

would've been nice if someone in charge had done something about it before now. In addition, why Charlie Sheen picked now to join Twitter is beyond me, but regardless of whether there are drugs involved in his insane behavior (and I'm fairly sure there are) this is an excellent example of why I don't want to be famous. Seriously - let's teach our kids that this is not an aspirational goal. Is there an opposite of aspirational? Because I think that's Charlie Sheen.

"It rubbed off...from friction."

Ok, I just watched an insane amount of TV in like, two days. As a result, I have a lot I want to say but the organization of my brain isn't working too well, so I'm just going to start wherever it wants and will probably end up with a super long and slightly discombobulated post. Stick with me, kids.

Mr. Sunshine

How often is it that a pilot episode surprises you by being miles better than you thought it was when you already thought it was going to be awesome? Not very. Mr. Sunshine brought it SO UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY to the table that I cannot wait for the next episode. Allison Janney is a comedy goddess and a dream come true; she should honestly share top billing on the show. Matthew Perry is a master of acerbic wit and Mr. Sunshine was tailor-made to cater to his strengths - even the theme song reminds me of him. And somebody must have known that I'd be watching to include the brilliant and fabulous Jorge Garcia cameo, even if he is only around for one episode. I would highly recommend this show to anyone who has ever enjoyed Friends, Studio 60, Allison Janney in 10 Things I Hate About You, or has ever been to San Diego. You can find plenty of links here at my new favorite TV streaming site, Project Free TV.

Archer

I was planning on writing a long Archer post the morning my computer died, but it probably boils down to "Archer is hilarious. If you like Arrested Development or South Park or Adult Swim, you will love Archer." So watch it - it's a much better way to get your Jessica Walter fix than that painful guest role she had on The Big Bang Theory this week, and sometimes Jeffrey Tambor shows up as well! You can even watch them out of order, it doesn't really matter, although starting from the beginning will give you a better idea of why they treat Pam like crap or why Cyril is such a douche. Oh, and H. Jon Benjamin gives me a susan. If you're as enchanted by his mellifluous voice as I am and want to see what he looks like in person, you can watch the episode of Parks And Recreation where Leslie fills in the pit and Andy ends up in the hospital; Benjamin is the city lawyer.

"Like I don't have chalk."

"You're my children, and I love you, but you're all terrible at what you do...here."

H. Jon Benjamin has me rethinking the way I feel about cartoons. First came Archer, where he voiced a rather incompetent spy, accompanied by Jessica Walter, Chris Parnell and Aisha Tyler. Now, with the premiere of Bob's Burgers (8:30 Sundays on Fox), he's done it again.

Benjamin plays the title character, and although the additional voice work (especially that done by two of my Flight Of The Conchords favorites, Kristen Schaal and Eugene Mirman) is quite good, Bob is the glue that holds the family and the show together. The writing is sharp, just bordering on offensive - not in the Family Guy way where the mere fact that you're offended is supposed to inspire laughter, but in the good way, where you laugh because it's funny, and then feel slightly guilty afterwards.

But - and it's hard to write about something as ephemeral as a voice - Benjamin's voice is what makes me sure that I'll be tuning in for at least the next few weeks. It's a funny show, but his delivery takes it just beyond funny to classic. It's telling that Benjamin can voice both the smooth, good-looking Archer and Bob, the schlubby father of three, with both characters working to a pitch-perfect degree. It's not just that his voice is mellifluous, which it is, but also that it's got this dry tone to it...I really can't describe it. His voice. Is awesome. And that's all you really need to know.

And, ok, Kristen Schaal is doing some heavy lifting as the precocious youngest child, Louise, but each character does bring something special to the mix. All in all, an extremely strong pilot, and they should be proud of themselves for getting me invested in a cartoon that isn't The Simpsons or South Park. Watch it now!

And if that just whet your appetite for more H. Jon Benjamin, go check out Archer before the new season starts. Last time I checked you could stream them on Netflix...

FOX Fall Lineup - Getting Warmer...

Wherein we travel through the Tunnel of Love, Indubitably.

Well, after slogging through the $hit at CBS, coming around to Fox is a nice change. Fox is a network that I often forget my favorite shows are on; Fringe especially often feels a little too well-put-together for Fox. But I should give them a break, because three out of four is the best record I've seen all week.

Let's get the bad 'un out of the way.

Lone Star

What is it with all the shows about Texas this season? Texas never interested me before and it sure as hell doesn't interest me now. Con men who aren't James Ford? Pass. Jon Voight? Pass. Add in a generic and lackluster leading man and it looks like a snooze-fest. It's being billed as "one of the most provocative dramas FOX has ever had", but to me it looks less provocative and more like a lame retread of a bunch of other shit.