UGH, The Worst! 2011

These are the things that sucked. We hate them. They are all The Worst.

Project Runway

This year, my favorite reality show was effectively killed by the Real World producers. I know, I SAID I wasn't gonna watch any more after last year's Gretchen debacle, but I thought it might get better. It did not. It got worse. SO MUCH WORSE. Anya and Josh were waved through, winning challenges they never should have won, including the entire competition. There's no point in watching a talent show if they disregard all the people with talent. I'll be watching the All-Stars show because it's full of designers that I LOVE (and some that I hate - we'll all know the apocalypse has arrived if Kenley wins PR A-S), but after that I'm out for good.

A Very VOMITROCIOUS Christmas

Oh my god, that was possibly the worst episode of Glee I've ever seen. I really think that this time I might be done for good.

Two weeks ago was the Santana debacle, which I can't even go into because it was SO BAD, and the student election BS, which was such an unbelievable plot manipulation that it doesn't even merit talking about because I can guarantee no one on this show will ever mention it again. Last week was sectionals, which was remarkably boring and predictable and the music was all my least favorite kind of Glee music, the note-for-note karaoke cover. Look, karaoke is great, I love it and it is totally the best. But watching professional singers do covers of songs that do not alter the arrangement in any way is flat-out boring. My favorite Glee songs are the ones they've put their own spin on - "Dancing With Myself", "Borderline/Open Your Heart", "Toxic", etc. - and if I do like a straight-up cover, it's because I haven't heard the original enough. But "I Will Survive" was a snooze, and even though I love me some MJ and I liked how everyone got a chance to shine in their medley, it was super dull. I know what "Man In The Mirror" sounds like! And it sounds better when Mark Salling keeps his mouth shut.

Anyway, that's all just to say that Glee has been losing me for a while now. Where are the jokes? Where is the edge? I wish this show had just died a quiet death at the end of Season 1. But sadly, it did not, and last night's episode still exists as a blight on the world.

Parenthood & Reality

No Glee recap this week - it was a pretty terrible episode, but not in the funny-terrible way, in the this-is-boring-and-makes-no-sense-like-Season-2 kind of way. Even though Puck is the most adorable and I could listen to him sing Melissa Etheridge and tell Quinn off any day, the rest of the episode was a return to the Season 2 strategy of shoehorning characters' actions in to fit the plot and I won't even talk about the Santana thing because it just didn't make enough sense to really care about.

Anyway, I was just watching last night's Parenthood and thinking again about how much I like that show! It really is just super-excellent. Well-acted, well-written, emotional without being hokey...it's just great. And in last night's episode in particular I was struck by how realistic the characters are. There is absolutely NONE of that Glee bullshit (and bullshit used by countless other shows) where complex characterizations are thrown out the window in favor of some exciting plot. These are people with REAL reactions to REAL situations, and even though they're not always what we, as an audience, might hope for from the characters that we love, because we love them we are able to understand why they have those reactions. Take Crosby and Jasmine. Oh man I would love for Crosby and Jasmine to get together and be together forever and make more beautiful babies, but I also absolutely understand why that might not be the right thing for them right now. On a lesser show, their dalliance would have had huge dramatic repercussions, but on Parenthood, it is simply an opportunity to demonstrate the ways in which Crosby continues to mature.

I have two big issues with many television characters: (1) that they don't communicate in a normal, helpful way; and (2) that they often seem to have no capacity for forgiveness. TV can often be a world of black and white, where a thing is just WRONG and totally unforgivable. But that's not how the world works! People change, people have great capacity for contrition AND for forgiveness, and I really love that Parenthood shows this. It doesn't demonize characters simply because they make a wrong decision; in fact, almost all of the many characters on the show have made awful mistakes in the past. But the Bravermans, like a real family, are able to communicate and apologize and forgive and try to move forward from a better place. Watching Parenthood is like watching a reality show where the stars don't know they're being filmed - making it greatly superior, at least where authenticity is concerned, than those often boring, fake, narcissistic day-in-a-life reality shows.

If you're looking for a show that has drama but also humor and nuanced, relatable characters, than I can't recommend Parenthood highly enough. Plus, the cast really is phenomenal. How adorable was that scene with Mark and Sarah? SO ADORABLE. I hope that Parenthood has found a strong enough audience to be renewed for another year, because I can't think of another network drama that is as good as this one. Good watching for the holiday season if you need to be reminded that other families are just as crazy as your own. Go forth and watch!

"Because of the layers?"

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It's Not Easy Being Glee

Glee is back! This season has been really interesting so far, because it has gotten both better and worse at the same time. Better because there are actual character arcs and storylines that carry through from week to week instead of plots just shoehorned in to whatever that episode's theme is; and worse because some of those storylines are kind of dull and the music selection has been mostly bleh. Sometimes it's not even the selection, but the execution - "It's Not Easy Being Green" is actually a beautiful, poignant song that I love, but putting the Irish kid in a bunch of ugly green shirts and then having him warble (not particularly well, I might add) along to a tinny backing track and totally, gruesomely murder my favorite line ("And green can be cool and friendly-like") is not the way to win me back after three weeks of an excess of musical theater numbers. In fact, I might as well be upfront and say that the only song worth anything (and the first song this season I've thought about downloading) was the Troubletones' "Candyman". That shit was fantastic, and I really like where that storyline is going. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Who ARE these people?"

Ok, let's see. With so much tv happening these days, I keep getting overwhelmed and putting off posts that I want to write until it's pretty much too late to write them. So I'm just gonna make a list of points and go down it, as I am wont to do.

- After re-watching last week's Community, I take back whatever I said about it in my last post. It was great. Everyone was great. The Chang part was a little weird, but I'm past it. Omar was great, like always. Danny Pudi's facial expressions and Donald Glover's line delivery were, like always, the best. Strike that and reverse it, and they're still The Best. "Second paintball."

- I have watched the first two episodes of House out of curiosity but man have they lost me now. I really just don't have time for the same old bullshit and House's hair is ugly and although I find Charlene Yi charming she is a terrible actress and not made for network tv and really that show is just SO BAD! So bad.

- How I Met Your Mother is actually getting better this season! I mean, it's still not up to Swarley par, but it's much better than last year. Bringing Kal Penn on was a great idea, and definitely brings some tension to the Barney's wedding plot point even though obviously Barney and Robin are getting married but also obviously they have to do something interesting to get us there. So. Good news! Also loving the Ducky Tie. That whole episode was great and boobariffic and would have been perfect had it not been for Victoria whom I despise.

"Yes I Can!"

So I actually don't have that much to say about Glee. It was inoffensive, not especially funny, but wrapped up some of the loose ends from last season and introduced the themes for this one. The problem is I couldn't sum up the energy to care about most of them. My favorite characters were mostly in the background, even Finn. I don't even know why they're trying to get us scared about Sue shutting down the arts or whatever because that is such an unbelievable plot point it is just ridiculous. I get that it's probably supposed to be hyperbolic political satire, but it just isn't really working. So, you know. Quin has pink hair. Santana is already Big Lesbian Bitch (called it). Tina is a junior. Blaine wears dumb sunglasses. Rachel and Kurt are not as great as they thought they were. Bieste is the best. But tragically, Zizes is gone! It was just a so-so episode that even the fun ending of "You Can't Stop The Beat" couldn't inject with any real passion. I mean seriously, you can't do a Hairspray number and stick the fat girl in an ugly-ass t-shirt and motherfucking jeans. I guess I should just not expect too much from this show, then I won't be as disappointed when it inevitably sucks.

Notes & Quotes

"Pithy banter like "Why does the T-Rex eat the Jew?"

"Me And My Hag"

"What about toast? Bread's already been baked, I don't see why you have to cook it again." (BTW I am firmly pro-toast, it is delicious sometimes I eat too much of it covered in blackberry jam.)

"My erotic tattoo of Ryan Seacrest"

"Sue just passed 'Undecided' and 'Anyone White' in the polls"

That flame at the end of "Anything Goes" and Kurt's little yelp

"Gay high-5"

Image via Hollywood Reporter

Emmys, Premieres, And One Blogger's Eternal Struggle

The Emmys are tonight, and Monday marks the real return of real television (The CW's fall season minus Gossip Girl started this week, but we don't count that). This means that, in addition to working, studying, and having a life that involves life-size, tangible people, I've got a shit-ton of shows to watch, recap, and opinionate on. Don't get me wrong; I'm super-excited. But just to give you a sense of what I'm up against here, these are the new shows that are showing up on my Sidereel schedule this week:

How I Met Your Mother

Castle

Glee

Raising Hope

Parenthood

SVU

Up All Night

Modern Family

CSI (on Wednesdays???)

Person Of Interest

The Big Bang Theory

Community

The Office

Parks & Recreation

Archer

Fringe

A Gifted Man

And that doesn't even count the summer shows I'm still watching like The Big C and Project Runway, or the shows that decided to do TWO premiere episodes like the effing Big Bang Theory (it's never the ones you hope for), or the shows that already premiered that I haven't watched yet, like Up All Night and Parenthood. So, you can see that it's gonna take me a little while to get through it all, and that posts will, by necessity, hopefully be somewhat abbreviated. It's actually kind of a good thing that the brand new shows mostly look like crap, because otherwise I'd be completely bogged down. I will do my best to watch everything and post in a timely fashion, but some shows' fall evaluations may have to wait until next week.

Now on to The Emmys. I won't say too much about it because most of my frustrations with the whole Emmy system are expressed in this post, but I will say this: The Emmys are broken. I do not, as of yet, have a solution to the problem of how to get Emmy voters to watch more than one or two episodes of a series, but I'm working on it. The system wherein shows submit their favorite episodes for consideration completely ignores the painstaking and incredible continuity work that goes into a show like Community, and instead rewards those shows who display a complete LACK and DISREGARD for continuity, aka Glee. I'm not surprised Glee got an Emmy nom; there were a couple good episodes this past season (if you ignore the rampant biphobia and absolutely awful and nonsensical character arcs for EVERYONE and focus instead on that one time Gwyneth Paltrow sang a Cee-Lo song), but there is no way it was a better over-all season than Community. Or Episodes. Or Archer. Or any number of fantastic shows that did not receive a nomination. This system of selecting single shows for judgment also totally dis-favors shows like Fringe and Lost that have season- or even series-long plotlines. Now, I know it's silly to rail against something as ultimately meaningless as The Emmys, but it really does make me sad when I see programs and actors that I know are great and deserving because I have watched ALL of their episodes lose to programs and actors that I know are equally undeserving because I have suffered through all or most of their episodes (ugh The Big Bang Theory UGHHH). So here's hoping that tonight will be all about Mad Men (The Best), Parks & Recreation (The Best next to the infuriatingly ROBBED Community), and Louie (also just The Best). Down with Boardwalk Empire (unless the Emmy is for set direction), Glee, and The Big Bang Theory! Give the rightly deserving all that they rightly deserve.

Seriously, though, you do not want to be in my house if Mad Men doesn't win best drama for their spectacular fourth season, because it is an indisputable FACT that everything about that show is meticulously awesome and even Friday Night Lights (which I have heard is great and is the only other nominated drama I will even slightly concede to) doesn't have the total package of top-notch writing and acting and directing and costumes and set direction and lighting and cinematography and EVERYTHING that Mad Men has.

My Glee issues do not extend to Jane Lynch, whom I LOVE, and who I am very excited to see host tonight. I love how the major awards shows just get gayer and gayer every year. Here's hoping for some excellent pantsuits.

Ok, I'm off to get some sun and live some semblance of a life before the season of opinions officially begins. Expect outraged commentary in the morning!

The Nude Erections

Oh, fine. I'll see you in the fall, Glee. Have a great summer touring. :( Seriously, those kids are worked hella hard, I'd like to see what their paycheck is. I'm pretty sure it's disproportionate to the amount of money the show brings in, especially now that they're polluting the world with these fucking terrible original songs. But we'll get to that in a minute. Overall, the finale was much like the season – partly awful and partly great, but the great parts were pretty wonderful.

The Gershwin opening was lovely, as were the Gershwin themes that ran through other parts of the show. Rachel's coat (well, everyone's clothes, really) was fanfuckingtastic. And it was fun to watch them galavanting about New York, even if the song left something to be desired. I enjoyed parts of the Finchel storyline - it was certainly the most captivating part of the show. But, like always, there was a whole lot of fluff in between that I still feel obligated to mention.

Let's see. Mr. Schue is a terrible teacher, obviously, and so he abandons his class and says, hey teenagers! You have to write two amazing, prize-winning songs, and you have one single day. See ya! Maybe if you're good, I'll bring you pizza in 17 hours. Mr. Schue, this is not Project Runway, and you are not Tim Gunn. You don't just get to leave the set and go off and be fabulous somewhere because you feel like it. Also, you may just be the opposite of Tim Gunn. Ugh, I really hate Matthew Morrison and his vests and his gargoyle face. I wish he was just one big set of abs. ANYway, he goes and sings an awful song (really, does he sing any other kind?) and then some guy wanders by and is all, You're gonna be a staaaaar, m'boy! *old-timey jazz hands*

"Like that's any less gay"

Man, when Glee is good, it's very, very good. I mean we all know that when it's bad, it's horrid, but "Born This Way" really was a step up, even from last week. There was a lot of negative feedback from blogland for "A Night Of Neglect" (still the worst title ever), but not in these parts. Oh, sure, it wasn't the best, had too much Gwyneth and was kind of cobbled together, but I'm grading on a curve and it was a hell of a lot better than most of the episodes this season. Additionally, 1 Steven Tobolowsky + 1 Cheyenne Jackson = 0 Gwyneth Paltrows. Anyway, tonight managed to be even better.

CAVEAT: I am still profoundly angry and irritated the way the writers decided to ignore Santana's possibly bisexuality despite her many occasions of professed sexual attraction for men (go back and watch the Britney episode and tell me she's not hot for Dr. Carl). However, since this show is THE WORST at character consistency and has a proven history of biphobia, I'm just going to suck it up and accept that Santana is now a total 'mo, a full-on Kinsey 6, and hope that maybe they can discover some non-hateful nuance when it comes to Britttany ("I think I might be bi-curious"? ARRRRGH. Bi-sexual. If you like or have liked having sex/being in love with boys AND girls you are what is called bisexual. Just. Say. It.). Moving on to the parts that don't make me want to scream epithets at my computer.

"Let me cut to the sexy chase"

Fuck yeah, Glee! I loved tonight's return to form. Oh, I know it won't last, and I'll be back to bitching about it in a week or two, but "A Night Of Neglect" (terrible title for anything) really was awesome.

Let's start with Mercedes FINALLY getting her due. It took goddamn long enough! But it was great how Zizes inspired her to demand the respect she deserved. More of Team Big Girls, please! But I thought that Rachel schooling Mercedes on Aretha was hella condescending and weird. However, WHO THE FUCK CARES because that rendition of "Ain't No Way" was fanfuckingtastic, one of the best songs the show has ever done, and really just straight up awesome. Although Glee can be infuriating and shitty, they do tend to listen to their audience for very short periods of time, and I know that it wasn't just me complaining about the lack of Mercedes this season. Hopefully she won't be allowed to fade away into the background again. The title of the episode (and benefit) was an interesting but obvious tie in to Mercedes herself being the neglected artist, and I think after that, the characters but also the show as a whole are going to have to give her the respect and recognition she deserves.

Seriously - that song. KILLED it.

"Tina Cohen-Loser"

Ok. Glee and me. We're making it work.

Obviously I wasn't going to stop watching, even if last week was the worst episode ever. A girl's gotta have an informed opinion. And I'm glad I didn't, because this week gave us, if not a great episode, certainly the best in a long time.

First, let's get the songs out of the way. The opening number was, properly, something we've heard a thousand times before from Blaine & The Pips. I thought Kurt's "Blackbird" was beautiful, and I totally understand it triggering Blaine's lightbulb moment. One of the best things about a lot of this episode was they not only played to certain cast members' vocal strengths, but the autotuning for the most part took a back seat. Santana's "Trouty Mouth" and Puck's "Big-Ass Heart" brought some nice comedy (Mercedes' "Hell No" had an obnoxious, oft-repeating catch phrase and too clearly showcased that the ONLY storyline she has had this season revolved around tater tots. So. No.), but like, FOR REALSIES, none of these kids could have written (AND ARRANGED, is that jazz band made up of musical leprechauns or some shit that are always available and know every song ever, even ones just written by a dumb-ass high school student? Way to be way serious on "Trouty Mouth". I'm looking at you, drums.) any of these songs in the time allotted, except for the two sung at regionals. We'll get to that.

I want to say that this episode really delivered on something it's been missing for a while: the heartfelt emotions and moments of pure, helplessly un-hip joy. That being said, the really awful shit that the past few episodes hath wrought (a no-fun, psychopathic Sue; a no-fun, man-hating Santana; too much Blaine) was still there in full force. Sue punched a woman for no discernible reason. In the face. To the ground. Like, what? Moving on, there was thank you oh my dear unbelievable lord in the sky only the tiniest amount of Schue this week. The best was Santana telling him to stop touching her. We really all want you to stop touching anybody at all, Mr. Schue. Oh, that reminds me, the worst was Holly Holliday calling him in the middle of effing class to talk about her yoga retreat. Barf. Wait, sorry, the WORST was him then telling his students that the person he was just being gross with on the phone is another teacher. No.

Talkin' 'Bout Bisexuality On The Internets

More complicated than you might think.

So apparently everyone seems to think that "Sexy" was just awesome, especially when it comes to Brittany/Santana. Now, I don't want to get all preachy, but I wanted to explain a little further about my feelings on their relationship. Here are two comments I left on TLo's post on the episode:

After the really terrible handling of the Blaine/Rachel situation in "Blame It On The Alcohol", Glee continues to marginalize the bisexual/queer experience. Santana's character is instantly changed from Equal Opportunity Bitch to Man-Hating Lesbian. There is zero discussion of sexuality as something fluid that can change with time, or as bisexuality being as simple as believing that love is about a person, not necessarily a gender. Maybe I expect too much from Glee, but I think they've put themselves out there as a positive force in the gay community, and that comes with expectations. I think the perspective of the writers is very limited, which is unsurprising as I have been lead to believe that there aren't many queer women hired on hit tv shows.

Just to be clear, I'm not calling you guys biphobic or anything. I just think you can occasionally suffer from a little short-sightedness when it comes to gay and/or fat women and their particular issues and so sometimes us gay fat women feel the need to put in our two cents. :)

and then, after a few comments talking about how I was blaming TLo, or didn't "really understand" about Santana being a lesbian...:

I thought I was pretty clear about this before, but alas, the internet always requires more clarification than I expect.

I was not blaming TLo for this episode. I was merely pointing out that they often have a limited perspective when it comes to issues relating to queer women, and that's what a comment section is for. :)

And look, I don't have a problem if they want to make Santana into a lesbian (although it's been made explicit that she is sexually attracted to men and just because she doesn't want to date the moon-faced albino rabbit known as Sam doesn't make her 100% gay). What I have a problem with is that we have two characters that the audience has been able to identify as bisexual for some time, and I've been complaining about the writers being afraid to come right out and say, "Brittany's bisexual" for a while. To take one of them from being completely unfeeling to being a sobbing, man-hating mess in one episode does no one any good. What many of you don't seem to get is that while the Santana/Brittany relationship may work for the characters, my real complaint is the squandered opportunity to have an actual conversation about fluid sexuality occurring in pop culture. When do we ever get TV characters talking about sexuality as being on a spectrum? It's always only one way or another, gay or straight, and that's just not how things really are. I don't hate Artie and Brittany together - in fact, I know very much what it's like to be in high school and in love with a boy but sexually attracted to girls. But I see Glee acting as this soapbox for gay boys and here was an opportunity to really talk about bisexuality and not having to put yourself into a box. An off-hand Ani DiFranco reference just doesn't cut it.

And I stand by my argument that a sad Santana is just a terrible idea. They're going to ruin her like they've ruined Sue.

The truth is I used to love this show, but now I don't trust the writers at all. I think Glee is going to go down as having a great first season before being destroyed by money and popularity and a glut of mediocre guest stars.

And one more and then I swear, I'm done:

@Anonymous, that's not it at all. I admitted that the way things played out MAY have worked for the characters. That doesn't mean there aren't other ways that could have worked just as well, if not better. Believe me, I'm one of the biggest advocates for more character consistency, but if Glee is going to be a gay soapbox (and it is), it should be more inclusive. Pop culture representations of sexuality continually present bisexuality as either a myth or a fetish, and I don't understand why my desire to see a representation of something more nuanced has people up in arms. The truth is most of the world is oblivious to the biphobia that is ingrained in both gay and straight cultures, and that's why I'm here railing against this relatively inconsequential instance of it. I am just really tired of being marginalized.

One of the reasons it's so hard to engage in thoughtful discourse about fluid sexuality is because most people simply don't know that much about it. AND THAT'S MY POINT. If more people saw representations of out-and-proud bisexuals in the media, maybe biphobia wouldn't be so rampant. So whether or not you enjoyed seeing Santana emoting, what could have been an opportunity for positive social change and education was completely squandered. And no surprise there, seeing that the Glee writers seem to be really good at squandering opportunities.

"You just got Zized"

Ok, Glee. W. T. F?

Last night I watched Glee with two of my friends. There was me, the jaded critic; Alia, the long-time fan; and Kristen, someone who had only watched a few recent episodes. Three people with three very different perspectives with one thing in common when it comes to Glee: we all really want to like the show. I was especially glad to have the two of them around, then, when "Sexy" started going off the rails and they could assure me it wasn't just me who thought this was the worst, poorly organized, most perplexing episode of the entire series.

Glee has been facing criticism for character consistency since the second season began. The show's writers have responded by removing any lingering ounce of character consistency and instead focusing on picking truly terrible songs to compliment the spectacularly awful and empty plots we have to plod through each week. Some critics have given up yelling into the void and are now defending the lack of consistency, saying, "That's just how Glee is!" But I refuse to give up. I will yell into the void for as long as I have lungs and people continue to stand by this crap. Why? Because I remember what 3/4 of the first season was like. It was inspiring. Uplifting. Joyful. It was not afraid to be uncool, or silly, or flamboyant. It presented an incredibly wide range of music in interesting and beautifully-sung ways. Now the show seems to exist solely to sell iTunes singles. The writers and producers are unconcerned with plot or pure musicality or character development or, well, quality, because they are making a bajillion dollars. And guess what? It shows.

I'm going to try to summarize with bullet points because there is too much to go over and none of it is presented linearly. I haven't read any other bloggers' thoughts about "Sexy", but I don't see how there's any way they can't agree that this is where Glee went off the rails and belly-flopped over that shark.

"It's like trying to follow porn!"

This is just to say that I have so, so much to say about the astounding, shark-jumpingly terrible episode of Glee from last night. BUT one of my best friends is in town and instead of dwelling on the shittiness of "Sexy" we're gonna go eat a delicious breakfast and chill in the botanical gardens. Consider this a place-holder until I get back to my regularly-scheduled snarkiness.

Discussion Points!

I'm just gonna write a little about some random stuff that is too short to warrant a full post but that I want to muse upon anyway.

Firstly, Charlie Sheen. When I wrote this post way back in October I had no idea that things were going to get as bad as they've gotten with him. However, I agree with some of the complaints that I've been hearing...along the lines of "So it's ok for Charlie Sheen to be violent with women and go on destructive coke-fueled benders but threatening the creator of his shitty show is over the line?" What CBS has done is given terrible, often illegal behavior a pass, finally drawing the line at him saying awful things about Chuck Lorre. I'm not saying the things he said weren't awful. I'm just saying he's done a hell of a lot worse things in just the past year, and it

would've been nice if someone in charge had done something about it before now. In addition, why Charlie Sheen picked now to join Twitter is beyond me, but regardless of whether there are drugs involved in his insane behavior (and I'm fairly sure there are) this is an excellent example of why I don't want to be famous. Seriously - let's teach our kids that this is not an aspirational goal. Is there an opposite of aspirational? Because I think that's Charlie Sheen.

Griping About Glee

I just read this over at The A.V. Club and while I don't agree with everything it says, I think the comparisons between Community and Glee raise some really interesting points, mostly on the Glee side.

Let's face it: Glee has become the Justin Bieber of television, long before they made the tragic mistake of doing an actual Justin Bieber episode. What this means is they know they have the ratings, so they've just been doing whatever they can to appeal to their fan base, incorrectly assuming that their fan base is all gay men and teenage girls. What they've lost among their plebian popularity is actual awesomeness and style. More and more each song every week is close enough to the original to be the original (see "Tik Tok" in this week's episode for just one of many, many examples). I'm not sure why this is - I know I'm much more inclined to buy a song if it doesn't sound like the version I already have, or if there's enough of a character's emotion invested in it to make it meaningful. My favorite song from this season is hands-down Kurt and Rachel's rendition of "Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy" because it fulfills both of those criteria. The problem is that Glee is pandering to the lowest common denominator, and when the LCD is 8th graders, quality suffers.

The other real problem that finally became clear for me this week is the unevenness of every episode. "Blame It On The Alcohol" has some parts that I loved (all of the party scene; Schue and Bieste at the bar where I really wanted him to sing "Honky Tonk Women") and some parts I thought were irredeemably awful and offensive. With such glaring inconsistencies it's difficult to judge even just one episode on its own. Critics loved the Valentine's episode, whereas I thought it was weak with some bright spots (namely Santana) and that the whole thing was ruined by stupid Blaine and his terrible rendition of "Silly Love Songs". Random side-note: wouldn't it be funny if they were to do a Moulin Rouge episode with covers of covers? I mean, it'd be hella meta, but could be done well if they really tried.

Speaking of Blaine, let's go back to "Blame It On The Alcohol" and the blatant biphobia therein. To sum up: Blaine and Rachel drunkenly kiss during spin the bottle, and there's a spark there for both of them. They sing a Human League song and I think, "Hmm, maybe I don't hate Blaine after all!" Kurt is depressed and horrified, even more so when Rachel asks Blaine out and he says yes. Blaine admits that he's still questioning and figuring himself out and that it's possible he could be bi. Kurt flippantly says something so offensive I'm reluctant to put it here: "Bisexual is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with girls and feel normal." After that I was ready to head over to Twitter, all up in arms about it, but Blaine's response of telling Kurt that he shouldn't judge him for being who he is was a good one. However, Kurt's characterization of being bi equating a return to the closet was one that I think a lot of gay guys fall back on - that to be bi is to abandon your identity for one that is somehow safer or more normal.

"It rubbed off...from friction."

Ok, I just watched an insane amount of TV in like, two days. As a result, I have a lot I want to say but the organization of my brain isn't working too well, so I'm just going to start wherever it wants and will probably end up with a super long and slightly discombobulated post. Stick with me, kids.

Mr. Sunshine

How often is it that a pilot episode surprises you by being miles better than you thought it was when you already thought it was going to be awesome? Not very. Mr. Sunshine brought it SO UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY to the table that I cannot wait for the next episode. Allison Janney is a comedy goddess and a dream come true; she should honestly share top billing on the show. Matthew Perry is a master of acerbic wit and Mr. Sunshine was tailor-made to cater to his strengths - even the theme song reminds me of him. And somebody must have known that I'd be watching to include the brilliant and fabulous Jorge Garcia cameo, even if he is only around for one episode. I would highly recommend this show to anyone who has ever enjoyed Friends, Studio 60, Allison Janney in 10 Things I Hate About You, or has ever been to San Diego. You can find plenty of links here at my new favorite TV streaming site, Project Free TV.

Archer

I was planning on writing a long Archer post the morning my computer died, but it probably boils down to "Archer is hilarious. If you like Arrested Development or South Park or Adult Swim, you will love Archer." So watch it - it's a much better way to get your Jessica Walter fix than that painful guest role she had on The Big Bang Theory this week, and sometimes Jeffrey Tambor shows up as well! You can even watch them out of order, it doesn't really matter, although starting from the beginning will give you a better idea of why they treat Pam like crap or why Cyril is such a douche. Oh, and H. Jon Benjamin gives me a susan. If you're as enchanted by his mellifluous voice as I am and want to see what he looks like in person, you can watch the episode of Parks And Recreation where Leslie fills in the pit and Andy ends up in the hospital; Benjamin is the city lawyer.

"Give me some chocolate or I will cut you."

Okay, so maybe my post about the dearth of Halloween episodes was premature.

Last night's episodes of Glee and Raising Hope were pretty awesome & thematically appropriate. Raising Hope is seriously getting better and better - Cloris Leachman is a fucking genius, and I love Jimmy's friends, especially Javier ("Baby food? What a waste. This is delicioso - it's like meat pudding"). The show manages to be fucked-up and heartwarming all at once, much like scaring your child so he'll hug you.

"I'm mad at you. You're still so hot."

Guys, I'm really sorry that it's been so long since my last post. But a long weekend at my parent's house and a necessity to spend the following mornings unpacking and rearranging my room ate up my time. Plus, I've still got to watch all the TV that I love to write about on here and man, that takes some serious dedication. So, for this post we're going to do it bullet-style so I can get out all the random thoughts I've been having - and then get back to watching Community commentary because I'm hoping to have my in-depth Community posts done by Halloween (there is commentary on every episode! Seriously, if you're thinking about a DVD to buy, Community is definitely the most awesome for your buck.). Okay, let's start the show.

- Glee is back - for realsies! After three poorly organized episodes with some very weak (or just plain obnoxious) song choices, they finally brought it this week in "Duets". OMG I love Brittany and Santana and their queerness. I love Kurt and his awesome "Faith Hill" voice rocking the cock out of "Le Jazz Hot". The songs this week were (mostly) perfection - I am already over Sam's aww-shucks Jack Johnson/Mrazziness, but other than that...I actually downloaded some new songs yesterday. I really, really wanted to hear Artie and Brittany sing together, but I also like how they developed their storyline because it made perfect sense for both of their characters. Glee has a problem with consistency of motive and emotion - it can be kind of like Gossip Girl in that regard. But thankfully in "Duets" the writers snapped out of it, realized that no one, on the show or IRL, wants to watch Rachel Berry belt a self-involved ballad at the end of every fucking episode (and OMG, how amazing was that Kurt/Rachel/Judy/Barbra number? Blew my gay little mind.). Taking the focus off of Rachel and Finn a little and making the show more of a true ensemble is a step in the right direction and I hope the writers continue this way. But, let's be honest, they probably won't.